Reactive couples in volume are leading each other into misery in their marriage.
I spend my life helping couples to wake up to their reactive patterns in particular the ones that are killing their marriage.
The process is simple, stop the destructive patterns and embed new patterns that give them the best chance of reconnection.
You see with relationship problems, helping the couple become conscious of what they are doing and WHY is a critical starting point.
Couples are far too reactive, and not connected to what they are doing or the impact of their actions.
They are blindly running their individual life/childhood patterns with no conscious connection to what is working and what is not and why.
Some couples know the journey and the outcome of their conflicts because they have had the same argument a thousand times.
The madness is they know this, yet they keep having the same argument anyway.
So when a person is communicating, connecting, taking action with their partner they have a number of choices, but they must be awake to make them.
The choice is am I going to do what I hope will make the relationship better or am I choosing to make things worse?
If someone is choosing to make things worse the question is why would they do that?
If someone is doing their best to make the relationship better, but that action actually makes things worse then the question is why doesn’t that action work?
People are not asking the right questions and are blindly going round in circles, not thinking and feeling bad about themselves and each other.
Ask the question “WHY?” and if there is no clear answer that is when expert help will be required.
- Why when I try to fix your problems do you get upset with me?
- Why don’t I want sex with you?
- Why does my partner keep having affairs?
- Why has the love died in me?
Relationship building is simple, it either works or it doesn’t, if it doesn’t work find out why if you can’t work it out seek help?
There will be a reason, the answers are there, plus life is so much easier when you know.