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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“These Women are fed-up”!

I speak to so many women who admit they like to be in control but they are also fed-up they are in control.

I know that may look like a contradiction, but when you look closer their perspective makes total sense.

To be clear the men on the receiving end are fed-up too and that’s because no one is understanding the real problem.

This post might be a little controversial for some, but with so many cases like this turning up, I felt it needed some air time.

The part of the women that like to be in control is the more masculine side of their personality.

They use this side of their energy to get things done, this is when a woman becomes the doer and the fixer. In this space, she hasn’t got time for emotion.

They like to be in control of the things they need to do as there is so much to think about especially with normal family life is pulling them in so many directions.

The other side of their energy is they like to experience is their feminine energy and it’s this energy she may struggle to connect to, I see far too many women in this situation.

She has either rejected it, doesn’t know it exists, or cannot connect to it in her marriage.

This is the side of her where she likes to be looked after, she wants to be free of responsibility just for a short time, she may want to embrace letting go and enjoy being a girl, being loved, desired, protected and spoilt.

At core her energy is about being open and cared for in the way she needs it.

This is the energy many marriages are missing, because he won’t be aware of what she needs and why and she won’t know how to communicate it to help him.

So they both end up lost.

She is resentful she cannot connect to the part of herself she needs to love him and he is resentful that nothing he does is enough for her.

Some men end up thinking their wives love being in control and so they give her all the control of everything whilst giving up his own masculine energy to please her.

It not uncommon to find a man who is a powerful leader at work giving up his power at home to please her.

If he does take this action this is where it goes wrong, but it’s not his fault as he is likely to be out of ideas.

When men give up being who they really are at home to please their wives, their wives are not pleased and end up seeing him as a dependant rather than an equal partner.

Women need to experience a full bandwidth of emotional states. She needs to feel free to embrace all of who she is in her marriage.

When a man helps his wife become the best of her whilst accepting and helping her when she isn’t, she knows she is safe, free and loved.

  • She needs him to know and see who she really is.
  • She needs him to understand her.
  • She needs to feel emotional security.

If you are a man reading this, when you help her to connect to herself, the part of her that can love you that’s the energy she is looking for.

For many women the pain she is in is directly connected to not being in the energy that allows her to love him.

If you are a woman reading this the man in your life has no way of understanding or connecting to this understanding and so if you can’t communicate it there is no way he will naturally understand either.

This is why so many couples end up lost and upset.

Obviously there is far more to this topic than this short post can convey.

Relationships are about energy and unless that energy is leading each person to generate and feel attraction the relationship will then become stressed and at some point questioned which is happening to many couples.

The problem is couples go round in circles with their problems because like this one it’s challenging to naturally see, understand and connect to.

So people put incorrect meanings to their problems each person blaming the other. In most cases the problem isn’t each other, the problem is a lack of knowledge.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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