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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“These Women are fed-up”!

I speak to so many women who admit they like to be in control but they are also fed-up they are in control.

I know that may look like a contradiction, but when you look closer their perspective makes total sense.

To be clear the men on the receiving end are fed-up too and that’s because no one is understanding the real problem.

This post might be a little controversial for some, but with so many cases like this turning up, I felt it needed some air time.

The part of the women that like to be in control is the more masculine side of their personality.

They use this side of their energy to get things done, this is when a woman becomes the doer and the fixer. In this space, she hasn’t got time for emotion.

They like to be in control of the things they need to do as there is so much to think about especially with normal family life is pulling them in so many directions.

The other side of their energy is they like to experience is their feminine energy and it’s this energy she may struggle to connect to, I see far too many women in this situation.

She has either rejected it, doesn’t know it exists, or cannot connect to it in her marriage.

This is the side of her where she likes to be looked after, she wants to be free of responsibility just for a short time, she may want to embrace letting go and enjoy being a girl, being loved, desired, protected and spoilt.

At core her energy is about being open and cared for in the way she needs it.

This is the energy many marriages are missing, because he won’t be aware of what she needs and why and she won’t know how to communicate it to help him.

So they both end up lost.

She is resentful she cannot connect to the part of herself she needs to love him and he is resentful that nothing he does is enough for her.

Some men end up thinking their wives love being in control and so they give her all the control of everything whilst giving up his own masculine energy to please her.

It not uncommon to find a man who is a powerful leader at work giving up his power at home to please her.

If he does take this action this is where it goes wrong, but it’s not his fault as he is likely to be out of ideas.

When men give up being who they really are at home to please their wives, their wives are not pleased and end up seeing him as a dependant rather than an equal partner.

Women need to experience a full bandwidth of emotional states. She needs to feel free to embrace all of who she is in her marriage.

When a man helps his wife become the best of her whilst accepting and helping her when she isn’t, she knows she is safe, free and loved.

  • She needs him to know and see who she really is.
  • She needs him to understand her.
  • She needs to feel emotional security.

If you are a man reading this, when you help her to connect to herself, the part of her that can love you that’s the energy she is looking for.

For many women the pain she is in is directly connected to not being in the energy that allows her to love him.

If you are a woman reading this the man in your life has no way of understanding or connecting to this understanding and so if you can’t communicate it there is no way he will naturally understand either.

This is why so many couples end up lost and upset.

Obviously there is far more to this topic than this short post can convey.

Relationships are about energy and unless that energy is leading each person to generate and feel attraction the relationship will then become stressed and at some point questioned which is happening to many couples.

The problem is couples go round in circles with their problems because like this one it’s challenging to naturally see, understand and connect to.

So people put incorrect meanings to their problems each person blaming the other. In most cases the problem isn’t each other, the problem is a lack of knowledge.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other - June 19, 2025
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE” - June 17, 2025
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem? - June 13, 2025

Category iconLoss of Love,  Marriage Coaching,  Rebuilding trust






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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

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Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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