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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“We are at breaking point – I just can’t continue like this…”

When someone comes to me with this message what they are after is CERTAINTY – they want me to help them out of this private hell and into a better life.

They want the pain to stop. It’s likely they have been in emotional pain and suffering for a while, some can feel themselves emotionally detaching from their partner.

In their hearts, they know that life shouldn’t be this way, but they are paralysed not sure what to do for the best. Whichever way they turn there is either more pain and suffering or total uncertainty.

They may have tried to talk about it, but they are likely to become more frustrated as they go round in circles, but not really knowing why.

Both people are likely to be exhausted with it all so they end up seeking ways to meet their needs outside of the relationship.

So what do they do? Can they be helped?

What you will notice is it’s very difficult for couples to communicate on any level when they are in crisis or emotional disconnection.

The reason for this is a powerful filter has been created to protect the individuals…

… a filter of how to hear each other and what each other perceptually means is going to distort the way two people translate each other’s words and behaviours.

So the couple MUST be put into a position where they can really hear each other.

If individuals in crisis are trying to get through to each other from the position of I’m protecting myself from you the relationship is going to become more damaged because the talking is reinforcing the perception of incompatibility.

I never permit couples to argue in front of me (unless I have engineered it as a strategy) because it would be a waste of their time and money and be damaging for them – plus they can do that at home for free.

So one of the jobs is to help both people remove their perceptual filters so they can now see the truth of their history and what they are going through today.

When I say the truth what I mean is what has really been happening in the relationship and why they are now at breaking point and what can be done to help them.

You see marital crisis creates significant fear and this fear engages a natural process of self-protection.

From this position, couples will never hear really each other and so the disconnection is reinforced with every interaction.

What many couples are not aware of is – even when you get a couple out of the crisis they still won’t naturally know how to hear each other.

This is where I help the couple to build a brand new relationship with a greater understanding of how it really works for life and what breaks it so both people are armed to protect it in the future.

So my message today is if you are at breaking point is you must learn the truth about your relationship and what you know so far is only half the story.

My goal with any couple is to help them discover an authentic position in their relationship. Relationships are supposed to be a place where you feel more of what makes your life full and exciting.

So many couples don’t know how to create this naturally. The reason is we (humans) were never designed to live in a box with another person for life.

So it’s really easy to fail, be confused, feel lost, alone, rejected.

I have worked with thousands of couples and I can tell you couples are not designed to understand each other and so getting into crisis is so easy and the couple won’t really know why.

People can follow so many other equally lost people and get a divorce without know why their divorce happened only to find they repeat the same patterns of destruction in a new relationship.

They will know the symptoms, the problems they can see and feel, but they will struggle to understand what really caused them and this is critical to stop destructive patterns.

I too had to learn that successful relationships are built through learning new skills that helped me to become a more effective partner for my wife.

A marital crisis is a process, once you’ve understood it, getting out of it and remaining out of it is the certainty that will create a more confident relationship because you’ll have the tools to protect it both now and in the future.

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Recent Posts

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
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  • About
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  • Over 1000 Articles
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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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