It’s normal for couples to see the same problem very differently.
Even couples who agree on one part of the problem, “we know we don’t communicate well”, will then struggle to agree on why they can’t communicate!
To be honest, I wouldn’t expect them to, this knowledge wouldn’t just appear.
You see all the time couples don’t see their problems the same way, the problem will never be fixed.
You simply cannot be a team solving the problems unless you are on the same page with the same understanding and mission.
Couples can say we agree we both want to be happy, but unless the process to happiness is understood, how will each person get there?
Many couples go through a battle where one person has to change to fit in with their partners’ emotional needs but if this compromises them you can bet a resentment will have been formed in them.
Many people run patterns of giving into their partner’s emotional outbursts simply for a quiet life.
This can cause problems in the end as there is likely to be a tipping point where the person says “I have had enough!”
The mission is very simple you must define the problem in such a way that both people can see it the same way only then will they be successful.
That way they are motivated to take action and are not compromised when they do.
So NEVER assume the way you see the problems are the only way or the right way and never make your partner wrong for seeing it differently, because they are supposed to.
Relationships that last and by last I mean happy and passionate require couples to master new skills to keep their energy for each other alive.
One of the many skills most couples don’t have is comprehension, unless you listen and speak with understanding how can you respond with care and compassion?
With communication, this post really is the tip of the iceberg.
Learning how to communicate in a way that connects and brings out the best in your partner is far better than punishing them and eroding your connection through resentments.
I’m always looking for passionate people to work with so if you have had enough and you want to make changes that work then Private Coaching will help you accelerate towards your goal.