From married to dating it is critical that you create goals for your relationship to keep your relationship alive and full of passion.
Giving is one of the biggest goals you can contribute to your relationship. A lot of people in relationships are only interested in what they can get from their relationship and when they don’t think they are getting much, giving seems like the last thing they want to do.
So they withhold the giving as a punishment. Of course if someone does us a wrong we punish them! Wrong! Especially in relationships. Whenever has anyone felt more love after being punished. If you punish your partner you hurt your relationship and yourself.
The biggest goal is really very simple…
If you help someone to feel amazing about themselves whilst they are with you, that person will attach all those amazing feelings to you. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT! So giving is the key goal. If you withhold your love your partner will attach those destructive feeling to you entering your relationship into a vicious cycle of withholding love, that’s heading you both for disaster.
Society has conditioned us into this punishment model and so creating a different way to manage our relationship becomes a challenge for many.
Many of you maybe thinking that you have given and still the relationship is not working. The key with giving to your partner is to understand what they really need, not what you think they need.
Many men and women come into sessions thinking they have given everything to their partner, only to discover they gave everything except what their partner really needed. This can be a shock to many that they have contributed to the destruction of their relationship without knowing.
One of the best ways to give to your relationship is to become an amazing YOU! Living true to who you say you are.
I have many people come into sessions not able to do this.
For example I may ask if love is important, I always get a yes answer. I then ask what has to happen for them to give love to them selves. A lot don’t know how to this or they may put conditions on achieving it which means they will only meet that values occasionally.
It is this kind of message which helps us understand the person is unable to live true to themselves.
If you would like more information on this topic for your relationship please don’t hesitate in asking.