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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Who have you become in your relationship?

Helping a person connect with their true-self is a significant part of helping that person discover the truth in their relationship – should they stay or go? 

If your relationship is in trouble the message below is for you.

Couples living in marital crisis will both be living in versions of themselves that is not reflective of who they are. Fear is going to be very alive in one or both people.

Fear can be a very destructive force in relationships because the fear can grow to the point where resentments can take hold and create needs such as possessiveness, jealousy and control, these powerful feelings can help a person feel a need to withdraw or have a need to be right.

Fear grows arguments, judgments, blame, revenge for past pains which can lead to emotional demands and manipulation. People can come across as insensitive and being self absorbed, some suffer from rage and this for some can lead to physical violence.

In my experience the person who has lived with fear is unaware their fear became their goal. It becomes their goal because fear changes their normal behaviours and this results in them bringing a distorted version of themselves to their relationship.

You see fears are powerful and have the ability to create thoughts, beliefs and behaviours in a person that are not reflective of who they really are and this change can cause significant relationship problems.

One couple who wanted help where unaware of what they were really dealing with. She was consumed with fear, shaking, tearful living in her own head firmly connected to her past and seeing that as her future. This was disabling her to see her relationship as it really was today. Who this lady had become was sabotaging her desire to get to the truth she desperately wanted.

Initially I had to help the husband understand his role in the relationship and how he could help me to help his wife to feel safe and secure so she could evaluate the relationship from this place.

Being in the marriage or not had to be her choice, but she had become someone who was unable to make that decision safely.

By helping her build confidence within her she understood how to safely connect to meeting her critical needs through what she valued most. She discovered by connecting to her true-self she was safer stronger and much happier.

This enabled her from this new sense of self to evaluate her real experience in her relationship.

You see when fear takes over a couple they can end up in destructive circular patterns and it’s only a matter of time before the fears really take hold and who the couple become is not reflective of who they really are.

The biggest challenge that couples in this place experience is they are unaware they have lost a sense of who they are in their relationship only.

They feel perfectly normal with friends, family and at work.

This gives them the illusion that the relationship is wrong so they must leave it. The realty is the person has created a fearful and painful energy within them (a different self) with their partner which is not present at work and with friends or family.

So what is the truth, is their relationship really wrong or is their real pain coming from who they have become when they are with their partner?

This discovery is critical to understand especially where a whole family is at stake.

This is why so many couples regret divorce and repeat destructive patterns in new relationships.

They are not aware of who they become and where their real pain comes from.

One lady came to me after 3 failed relationships that took 15 years, she was about to give up on love. She learnt with me that her fears had taken over, she kept becoming someone she was not “a very negative her” and this brought out fears in her partners.

She learnt how to connect to her true-self and what it really takes to make a relationship work.

Identity is powerful and when we lose it we can feel very lost at this point it’s far easier to see what’s negative in your partner than in yourself.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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