To be fair husbands can feel the same, it can be really frustrating for couples when they are doing all they can to get through to their partners and keep failing. It can feel that their partner really doesn’t care and if this is true then the future and love comes into question.
Most husbands do really love their wives, but they are stuck because they feel whatever they do doesn’t work, he feels powerless in the relationship as she gets stronger to cope with his percieved lack of care.
Your husband doesn’t understand you because he is not female, he wired totally differently to you. In essence men and women are designed by nature for totally different jobs and so automatically experience the world differently.
So even though you both speak English, you may as well be speaking Russian and Japanese to each other.
A man can have a powerful desire to fix and provide quick solutions most women do not have this driver unless they have had to become stronger/masculine to cope with not being heard.
The differences between the sexes is huge and unless you understand the key differences you can become very frustrated with each other very fast.
Another example: Men are designed to make big problems smaller, so when his partner presents a problem he simple makes it “no problem” if she thinks he has not understood the problem fully she will now make the problem much bigger so he can real see it. Both people are now frustrated.
It’s really important for couples to understand some of the key differences because without this knowledge the relationship will struggle to grow.
As a relationship educator my job is to bridge this gap with couples so they know how simple it is to learn how to effectively get through.
If you think your husband doesn’t care the chance are you are wrong, he is likely to be lost and frustrated just like you.
Learning how you both communicate is the solution.
Typical problems that result from this challenge:
- Loss of intimacy
- Anger
- Depression
- Stress
- Arguments
- Communication breakdown
- Affairs
- Break-up
- Brother sister relationships
- Controlling behaviours
