She was desperate, she had tried and tried to get through to him. In the early days he did his best to comfort her, she liked the attention, but she knew deep down he didn’t really understand her.
As time passed she tried to get through to him, but his patience worn thin, no matter what he did she was miserable, rude and aggressive. He felt controlled, disrespected and untrusted. He tried to fix her problems, but she lacked respect for him and his efforts. He felt life with her was hopeless, he knew communication was fruitless so he stopped.
This worried her and so she became more upset, she said things she didn’t mean through frustration, she hoped he would wake up to her emotions. He didn’t, the more upset she became the more he retreated. Sometimes through frustration he would attack her verbally other times he would shut down and escape, sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally.
She couldn’t comprehend how he could not understand her, all she wanted was to be held and loved. He struggled so much with her outbursts, she was nasty, aggressive mean and lacked respect. He loved her, but he was struggling to cope so he questioned if he was in love with her.
He hoped this was just a phase that she would calm down and the love he craved would come back. So he waited keeping his head down working hard, at least that’s something he could be successful with.
She watched looking for signs that equalled he cared for her but he made no effort to understand her, she spent weeks crying alone, getting love from her children, family and friends.
She felt so detached from him, she could feel her heart closing and had days when she resented him so much she felt she was losing her love for him.
Both people wanted love, both people wanted to be happy, BUT their route to meeting those needs were so far removed from each other that they failed again and again.
Once this couple were shown how to really understand each others core needs they started to become successful. Connection, communication, understanding and love started to become easier.
They reconnected and became a team. They became invested in each others future which now looked exciting and fulfilling.
You see no matter how bad a marriage feels it’s totally possible to make sense of what feels bad and take action to fix the problems quickly.
All you need is desire and a will to learn.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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