The states you are in from moment-to-moment is what crafts your life and your destiny. Your states create how you experience the world and how others experience you. So understanding your states and how to control them is critical to everyone’s life.
Every decision and behaviour is created from the state you are in at any given moment in time. So if you are in a fear state, or angry state then you would make very different decisions than if you were in a happy or fun state.
- Different decisions equals different futures
So what state do you spend most of your time in?
You may have discovered that being tough or angry gets people around you to do things and you like that. Or maybe you live in a depressed state because you get more love or sympathy.
Maybe you are in a negative state where you moan about the world, because this is your best way of connecting with others who also like to moan and so what you get back is a connection.
The question is this…
Is the state you are in most of the time going to give you the life you want?
Many people get stuck in certain states because by creating that state in a critical moment in their past they got something they valued which saved them from being hurt.
Maybe they felt more secure, or more loved, or more significant. Whatever their reason for getting stuck in a particular state can cause long-term problems because that person a can fear without knowing going into other states, through fear of being hurt in some way.
Most people have no idea that they are stuck, but if you were to look back at your life what consistent comments did you get from others and how do you feel inside, because there will be clues.
The biggest problem is when someone is stuck in this state, assumes that the roll of this state is to create a balance in their lives, but this is a poor illusion because this state will only be able to LIMIT them and to limit means to block other possibilities.
The result is a tired and unhappy person, because what they value most can never be achieved and so they fight to craft the world around them to fit how their life should be, but they do it from a place of fear, and no decision from that place will give them the lives they truly want.
- Thankfully there is a solution to this so if you feel this way,
or are you living with someone like this please get in touch today.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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