Have you ever wondered why couples in intimate relationships struggle to understand each other, especially when things start to go wrong?
Some people can see very clearly that what they are saying is not understood by their partner.
Or they might find themselves not understanding what their partner is trying to communicate.
I see so many people that are baffled by their partner responses or actions.
There is a good reason for this confusion.
What’s interesting about couples in conflict is no one told us the day-to-day language patterns change the moment problems strike.
This is because the conflict creates a very different need in each person, and the problem is not understanding that point.
I have yet to meet a couple that has naturally understood this.
If you are going round in circles, it’s because you are struggling to translate what your partner is emotionally trying to get to through using their words.
This is a fundamental skill to master, because how do you know how to respond if the words are only part of the story?
The words are only a part of what you need to hear if you are going to translate accurately.
If all you hear is the words the meaning you put to their words won’t match their need and the conflict will deepen as now trust is in question.
Couples must be able to have a conflict that results in more connection and more security.
Most couples have conflict and kill their connection bit-by-bit over time.
The first casualty for the couple is usually their sex life and trust.
This problem of understand the conflict so it’s solvable requires a new level of thinking.
It’s almost like learning a new language.
The rewards are there for those brave enough to learn.