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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Steps To Getting Over A Break Up

I see people from all walks of life broken hearted due to the break up of their relationship. Hard as they try they cannot seem to get their painful feelings to go away.

Everything is a reminder of what they have lost, and instead of the painful feelings fading as everyone promised their feelings just seem to carry on relentlessly.

For people who experience this it’s like they are stuck in time, the world is moving around them, but they are frozen never really sure what to do to help themselves.

I see a lot of people seeking help with their break up. Below are the steps I take to help these people go from helplessness to living fun and happy lives again.

  • Step 1 – Understand their perception of where they think they are and what’s happened.

  • Step 2 – Get the client to see their relationship reality from a perspective of their true needs and values

  • Step 3 – Build a compelling future that builds self-esteem and confidence

  • Step 4 – Set action based building blocks to make the change the client desires.

The steps in more detail

  • Step 1 – Understand their perception of where they think they are and what’s happened.

Due to the shock of the actual break up and the possible months and sometimes years of problems leading to the break up, individuals can live very distorted lives. They can also create illusions of how wonderful their relationship is or was and keep remembering that perfect image. Whatever distortion they are experiencing my first job is to understand what they are doing to create the feelings they don’t want.

  • Step 2 – Get the client to see their relationship reality from a perspective of their true needs and values.

Step-by-step through critical questions the clients watches a reality they never knew existed unfold before their eyes. What this uncovers is the real truth behind why they were so unhappy in the relationship. This takes off the distortion the client used to experience as the truth. I will also help the client to collapse the meanings behind the distorted images they created that leads them to despair.

  • Step 3 – Build a compelling future that build self-esteem and confidence.

The next step is to build the clients inner strength through further understanding of how they work and why they do what they do. This can take the form of a deeper knowledge of their past and how the different versions of them were created and what they were created for. This process uncovers more truth and understanding that moves the client away from their past fears and towards a place of freedom, peace and happiness.

  • Step 4 – Set action based building blocks to make the change the client desires.

Get the client to commit to taking massive action towards creating a different story. We all create stories of our lives and so when one story ends a new one emerges. The goal is to create a story that is so compelling and powerful it dwarfs the old one thus completing the change.

The client learns how to create a win-win situation for his or her life. Relationship break up is a time for growth if approached in a constructive way.

At the end of these session the client discovers that they are armed to be able to control their emotional states and know how to choose partners that are more compatible with them. They then go into relationships with their eyes wide open know what to look for and what will make them happy.

  • If this has stuck a chord with you please get in touch.
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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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