More and more of my clients are starting to realise the old way of approaching struggling relationships really doesn’t work.
You can ask or tell your partner to change, but the change will either be a constant fight, or the change will never stay until their change becomes their idea.
That could be a long wait.
There is a far better way to help someone change, and that’s to understand that a change in yourself has the power to generate a positive change in your partner.
This new trend in helping individuals show up in a valuable way to help both themselves and their partners is reaping the rewards for so many couples.
You see, it’s far easier to make changes to yourself than it is to force or insist on changes to your partner because that approach never lasts.
If those changes to yourself creates a positive reaction in your partner, then being in the relationship on both sides becomes far easier.
I first practised this process in 2012, where I spent three months working on both individuals separately and never saw them together as a couple.
The result were surprisingly positive as each person discovered in a low-stress environment to learn and challenge what they need to learn and apply.
They could speak freely and challenge the thinking and theory, so they then felt safe to take the necessary action.
How you show up, the energy you bring whilst understanding why you are creating this change in your energy helps people stop wasting time with old behaviours that simply make matters worse.
The added bonus is that this has significant potential to put you back in control of your own emotional states, and that will help you bring positive energy to what your partner needs for them to make their changes.
Most couples are trying to rebuild their connection with both people lost and out of control and they make their connection worse.
The moment you stabilise one person and give them the tools of influence, this starts the process of a new dynamic that can start to change the output of their connection.