Whatever you feed your mind will come true. You will become what you think most about. This law is universal and in relationships it’s very obvious to see.
Follow the words below and see how you can
relate this to your life and relationship.
When a couple first meets and they share that powerful magnetic attraction for each other. What they are going to be focused on is what’s so great about their new lover.
They can daydream about all the great qualities their new lover has, they feel excited and full of anticipation, the world looks brighter and more exciting and it’s not long before they run around telling their family and friends how amazing their new lover is.
They become overwhelmed with how great they feel when they think of or spend time with their new lover.
The euphoria is very addictive.
Because the initial attraction is so powerful, the focus is on everything that’s great, and this is the primary focus.
On the back of those amazing feelings the couple start to build a vision of what their lives would be like together and in that state of euphoria the future looks amazing.
At this point the couple are focused on everything that’s good so they are feeding their minds with that information.
Essentially, they are stacking the pleasure.
Anyone that’s been in a relationship knows that at some point something will go wrong and the couple will feel emotional pain.
So when a problem hits the new lovers, what does it mean?
This is NOW a critical moment for the couple to survive because what’s gone wrong needs to be understood. The couple at this point will create a focus and feed their mind either with what equals growth or they will start to feed their minds with what eventually equals relationship death.
If it’s brushed under the carpet it will still be there in years to come and it will fester. Just because it’s not being discussed it doesn’t mean it’s not still present.
The human mind is conditioned to focus on what causes pain and automatically tries to move us away from that pain.
To move away from pain, you have to focus on it. The challenge is focusing on it just makes it worse.
Now the mind knows that the person that brought so much pleasure also has the ability to bring surprisingly painful emotions that shock and contrast the euphoria.
This puts the person on RED ALERT for the possibility of more pain. Initially, they won’t want to focus on this, but if it happens again and again, then clearly, this is important to focus on and look out for in the future.
Now the person is focused on how they can’t trust their partner. As they feed their mind with more and more proof of how they can’t trust their partner they start to find more and more evidence.
Most people find this very easy to do and so they don’t interrupt it. Their focus will become increasingly negative blocking the good in the relationship.
This focus grows the fear, and the result is that the person will eventually emotionally detach from the relationship.
When this happens, they shut down their feelings, and now they have no desire to meet their partner’s needs.
The person who shuts their emotions down without knowing will assume their relationship is dead. (Their feelings have not died they have just been shut away to protect the person from exposure to more pain)
This leads to a desire to leave the relationship, the person can stay of course, but the person will find other ways to meet their own needs outside the relationship. This can be new sexual partners, drinking, friends, drugs, and gambling, to name a few.
So, the couple have moved from a position of growing addictive pleasure to a position of growing pain, fear, resentment and loss of respect.
When a person stacks enough problems over time, they can go back and rewrite their history with their partner.
Stories like, “ I never felt we were compatible, I was never really sexually attracted to you, I knew your work was more important than me.
These stories serve as a means to justify to onlookers that leaving the relationship is for the best.
Now the person will tell their story to others and others will agree with their story and confirm leaving sounds like the best decision.
What you have read above is what 95% of the population does in some form and is the direct result of feeding their minds with the wrong focus.
- What if you were to do something different? What if you made a NEW decision to feed your mind with what will really create growth, love and security?
- What would happen to your relationship if you both learn’t how to focus on feeding your mind on what would maintain and grow, love, passion and adventure.
- What would happen if you fed your mind the information that created a deeper and more exciting bond than you had when you first met?
You know your truth, you know what you have been thinking, and you can see the result because you are living it right now.
The message is simple: Your life will become a result of what you habitually think about.
What you think about creates your behaviours, and your behaviours will create your future.
Are you ready to make a change? If so, click here.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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