I see far too many men giving up their masculinity in a quest to give his wife what he thinks she wants and needs.
Many men are totally lost when giving his wife what she needs, so he resorts to what he sees as either a safe or to him the only option.
That option is to let her have everything her way.
Happy wife, happy life!!!
What sounds like a selfless decision is at the root of many divorces, as this process kills connection and attraction.
Any woman who has to step up because he has stepped down will resent this responsibility as his wife.
The problem is she doesn’t want to have to step into her masculine energy 100% of the time, and many women find themselves in this place too often and they are resentful.
Sure she likes control, who doesn’t, but she also wants to be looked after from time to time, she needs to connect to her feminine too.
There is one fundamental flaw with his process of giving her control. The man has to become less of who he is to achieve this goal.
This position of stepping down can lead the woman to want to control even more because she is the only one stepping up, plus she will simply see him as emotionally weak, some say childlike.
I see many men are even afraid of their wife and their emotional responses so they avoid any confrontation.
I see many men who are so lost when connecting with her that he ends up saying very little, so he doesn’t rock the boat.
She is going to be driven by emotional connection it’s what builds trust for her in any connection.
So cutting this out of a couple’s dynamic can lead her into a more profound emotional deficit and more resentment.
This model has to change if this sounds like your marriage.
Women will not respect a man they can control.
Women often bring an energy to a man to discover if he is man enough for her.
This is where men become really lost.
This is because he will not understand what her fundamental objective is, and so he will fail.
Men know they are failing, but they are lost with what to do about it.
He may think she is unreasonable and at times fight her; she will see him now as either bullying, controlling or weak.
He may try to reason with her, only proving to her he doesn’t understand her at all.
He may try to fix what she is saying only to watch her become more upset at his lack of connection.
He can even try walking away, but now she feels abandoned.
I see powerful men from stuntmen to business leaders fall foul to the mystery of their wives emotions; many end up walking on eggshells a shadow of who they really are.
My message to men is you must never give up who you are.
Your masculinity is a fundamental part of who you are and is critical if you are to keep the attraction alive.
You must discover how to bring that powerful force to her in a warm and protective way.
Women are not after a weak yes man.
They want a man that can understand her emotional world in a way that frees her to become all of who she really is.
She does want to be in control at times, but she wants him to have the confidence to say NO to her.
She wants to know she isn’t alone whilst growing her family; she wants a mate who presents with her what creates a successful relationship, so the children are safe in their future relationship models.
His masculine energy will bring out a very different energy in her
She wants her man to know and see who she really is; she wants him to care for her even when her emotions don’t make sense to him.
She can sometimes become upset, and even she doesn’t know why and yet he cares without judgement that she is struggling.
She wants the freedom to be all of her emotional self, the masculine, feminine, and be free to experience this.
A woman’s emotions are confusing for men; this is why much of my time is spent helping couples understand this critical knowledge.
When the way she sees the world is understood by him, navigating how to get the best out of her becomes simple.
She isn’t a mystery really, she just isn’t a man, and for many women, they don’t want to be one either.
Woman need their masculinity at times it is needed at work, when getting things done she needs a less emotional energy to help her through her day.
Women do not want men to step down to please her; women want him to step up and take charge in a way that frees her to feel safe to love him.
You see the most significant challenge women face is they cannot connect to themselves in a way that allows her to surrender her masculine energy and love him the way she wants so she ends up resentful.
This skill is critical to understand especially for attraction to stay alive.
Men, on the whole, love to see a smile on their wife’s face because of him, so this skill is a must to master to achieve that.
What’s great is it isn’t rocket science, just a new way to see the world and your relationship.
Men need to take their power back to free them both.
By learning this skill you are stepping through another critical door of influencing your relationship.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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