Why are some people so needy in relationships? Why does the relationship have to revolve all around them? Is your partner controlling your relationship and have you let them, through your behaviours? Why does a person have to control their relationship and partner?
The answer is simple FEAR!…
…Plus historic conditioning
It is important to be aware when a person in a relationship is more concerned with what they are not getting rather than what they can contribute to the relationship. Sometimes the control is obvious and sometimes is is so subtle is can be confusing and makes you question yourself.
A person who wants to take from the relationship is usually unaware that they fear not getting their needs met such as “love” and the more they “take” the less they eventually get as resentment sets in. This creates more controlling behaviours.
So they end up with control strategies designed to manipulate their partner to feel that they have no choice, but to support them all be it in low level ways. Strategies could be…
Controlling behaviours such as
- Passive aggression
- Self Harm
- Withholding love
- Controlling time & money
- Obsessive compulsive
- Controlling realities
- Behaviour blame – you made me do it!
- Putting your partner down
- Negative body language
- plus unexplained illnesses to name a few. They will control whatever they can to get what they need, even if their need is met in low quality ways.
Needy controlling partners can put a significant strain on any relationship!
So do you think your partner is too needy are you being controlled?
Why do you think they are this way, has their been a change in the relationship? Have they always been this way?
You see, when fear(s) drives behaviours problems will follow!
The biggest challenge is when the person in fear refuses to acknowledge they have a problem and fear is driving them to destroy the relationship, they are so blind to what’s going on they carry on even as things are getting worse.
In the process of making everything about them they will tell you, you are the selfish one. They will reflect the problem they have back on to you.
This makes the situation feel totally impossible you love you partner, but you know the relationship will die if it carries on this way.
Does any of this strike a chord with you? Are you fed up of being emotionally used and battered?
Do you want to get to the bottom of your partners controlling needy behaviours?
- If so please get in touch, help is at hand