You have tried everything you can think of to fix your marriage and nothing works, you may have tried counselling and that’s not helped and now you’re looking at really big problems. Stay in a marriage that doesn’t work, or go for a divorce that’s scary one minute and attractive the next.
When you’re running out of choices of what to do and the options are looking like big life changing decisions that will affect so many it’s so easy to panic and make the wrong decision.
Now it might be that divorce is right for you, so finding out what direction will lead you to real safely is important, so…
The work I do with couples is unique without question. It’s unique because I help couples to see their truth and teach them how to understand each other in a way that can lead them to their chosen goals.
The goal I have for my clients is to give them the skills they need to be successful as fast as possible so they don’t need me any more.
That’s why some couples only have one session, that’s all they needed to solve their problem they learnt the skills they needed and left I usually only hear from them with a thank you note of gratitude. Other couples need more of course, but rarely does anyone have more than twelve sessions with me. Just imagine the relief for these couples that get answers and a clear direction in just a few weeks.
Education, planning and speed is the real key difference between what I offer and most traditional therapies. Most of my clients value growth and so to grow they need to know where they are going and to learn the truth.
For example: Many men and women are not aware of how different they are and this causes very deep problems. They have differences that are common to all men and women and they have differences that are specific to them, their true essence combined with the influences of their life experiences (good and bad) so far.
This education process is what I craved when I went to see a couples counsellor in my twenties but never got. She listened and reflected the problems back to us, but I learnt nothing that was going to lead me to be successful, in fact I just felt worse.
I wanted to know what to do and how to be successful. So I am very aware that most men simply want to fix the problems and get rid of them fast and to do that they need to learn…
So to understand a woman and specifically the woman you are with, you need to be coached to understand her using professional guidance combined with her input of course.
The same is true in reverse, women are naturally very intuitive in fact much more so than most men, but they have never been a man and so really understanding him needs to be learnt too.
If she uses her framework of how the world works and applies that to his actions she will struggle to understand his true intent and this will become a significant problem for them.
It’s interested that when I explain what’s really going of for a partner their response is usually a frustrated, “that’s what I have been telling (him or her) for years!”
The simple fact is telling your partner how to act in the relationship will usually be met with resistance, or compliance + resentment.
I can’t stress enough the importance of education if you really want success. Understanding our partner through all the life stages is not natural as most people think it should be.
Couples can become so seduced by the powerful chemicals the brain produces early in a relationship they are moved to fear when the lustful chemicals wear off and they stop feeling the same about their partner.
But no matter how you met, friends first or volcanic passion, someone will become fearful without the right knowledge and that’s the point their relationship changes direction at first it doesn’t seem to matter, but at some point it will.
The antidote to the fear is to learn how to become a couple that can grow their love and connection through being truly valuable to each other.
Remember you can’t become valuable if you don’t understand how to get the best out of your partner, this has to be learnt.
Education, education, education! Learn the thinking and skills that leads couples not just to security, but to a real confidence that no matter what happens we both know what to do when problems strike.
You see when couples learn how to build a secure foundation with each other then their focus can move away from fears and towards what life is really all about, love, passion, fun, adventure and a freedom to be who you really in a connected relationship.
With so many answers available there is no need to suffer or make a wrong and expensive decision.