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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Rebuilding trust in a relationship

We can lose trust in our partners in many different ways. You can lose your trust in someone or they can lose their trust in you. Trust can be lost through obvious routes such as affairs and circular conflict, or through lack of understanding, loss of respect and lack of care to name a few.

Losing trust can be devastating for any couple as TRUST is one of the core foundations needed to keep the couple’s connection alive.

So what’s the cost of not rebuilding the trust?

So many people end up naturally protecting themselves from their partner because they lose trust without really understanding the hidden dangers of this practice.

My clients have learnt that protecting themselves through stacking resentments will be leading the marriage to a dangerous position where feelings that keep the relationship alive can start to die.

So if there is resistance or resentment in a relationship then they must be dealt with quickly before those resentments start to automatically start switching off a person’s feelings towards their partner.

If someone experiences enough pain in their relationship they are likely to reach a tipping point where they will make a new decision to fully detach from their partner and this can turn them into what would feel like a totally different person.

I’ve had people come to me saying their partner simply just switched into someone they didn’t recognise almost overnight.

I’ve had individuals communicating to me that 6 months before they met me they wanted professional marriage help but now it was too late they no longer want the marriage.

These couples were not aware this dramatic change can happen and when it does is very difficult but not impossible to turn the person around.

You see when a person makes the decision to end the marriage that is a place of relief for them. They have taken back control of their life.

The problem with this position for the partner who wants to save the marriage is they are asking their spouse to now go back to a place of significant pain and suffering where they were once out of control.

People that want out are usually in a position where they cannot believe the relationship can change and the thought of trying is far too painful to contemplate.

So it’s critical to rebuild the relationship and the trust in it before they get to point of no-return. As I said in some cases it is possible to bring couples back, but why put yourself through that why not take action before you hit a crisis.

My message is to take action early before the job and the pain and suffering become too big.

Once a couple understands the importance of taking action then they will become curious to learn that the route to rebuilding the trust is in the understanding of their partners’ world.

Many problems come from two people being on a totally different page.

They don’t understand each other so they have problems with:

  • Money
  • Kids
  • Intimacy
  • Connection
  • Communication
  • Time management
  • Lack of planning
  • Conflict
  • Affairs
  • Addictions
  • Jealousy
  • Boredom
  • Lack of support
  • stress/depression
  • No respect or appreciation

All of these problems are as a result of the couple not understanding how to understand each other’s worlds.

Rebuilding the trust in a relationship is a well-defined process I take couples through. Part of the process can only start to happen once the couple’s thinking has changed to see the world from their partners perspective.

I remember one gentleman who couldn’t trust his wife to meet his needs so he was totally convinced his marriage was over so he asked her for a divorce.

He was totally unaware his wife had become emotionally stuck in a pattern of self-protection from him without knowing – this means she would not feel safe enough to contribute to him.

For her, this was due to some historic patterns from a troubled childhood and a number of events that had worried her in the marriage combined with a husband that ironically didn’t know how to meet her needs either.

To him she was controlling and uncaring, to her she felt lost, alone, out of control and exhausted.

This man felt he had done all he could and the situation was impossible to solve.

Once he could understand his feeling of pain through not having his needs met were very real BUT his translation of his wife and her behaviours was totally incorrect.

This was a key moment for him as he realised it was his translation of her and the situation that caused his own pain.

This shift enabled him to start to learn how he could be an effective husband for her so he could help her out of this stuck position. His care and understanding then freed her to connect to her true self which was one of naturally loving him and wanting to meet his needs.

Understanding each other is complex and to compound the issue everyone is different which is why my programs are all tailor made.

Once you become an effective translator of your partners world and behaviours and you know how to positively impact and get the best from yourself and your partner then trust stops becoming an issue.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
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London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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