Give your love unconditionally, or it may cripple your relationship. Read on and I will share how this can happen. A few months back a couple came to see me she had decided the relationship was over, she felt he was no longer the man she married and she saw no future.
He was very keen to get her back. I was concerned because he was so fearful about losing her, he would do anything to get her back and be unsuccessful if his efforts felt weak and needy to her. She was very clear she would be open minded, but he has to do this for himself not for her, or just to get the relationship back.
So to explore where he was emotionally I asked him what had to happen for him to love himself? He said I love myself when I grow.
So now we know if he isn’t growing he won’t give himself love, he won’t think he is enough and if he stops loving himself he can’t love her in the way she needs.
When we look at their history together we discovered that he had a history of depression he had put down to failed businesses.
His inability to give love unconditionally was the problem. Due to his need to grow and prove to the world he was successful he successfully killed his marriage.
For him he thought if he was successful financially she would love him more. Money was not even in her mind as an issue, for men unfortunately they have the illusion it is critical.
If he had loved himself without condition and put her first learning what she really needed to be happy they would be together today.
The global opinion is that unconditional love is risky or impossible. The reality is this: NOT GIVING LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY IS A FAR BIGGER RISK.