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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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She told him she was unhappy with him…

I first spoke to this lady over the phone in 2014 she told me her husband thought she was being ridiculous we don’t have a problem you are just being overdramatic. She was unhappy as she was suffering and her husband didn’t seem to care.

I told her to come in to see me sadly she didn’t want to come without her husband and he refused to attend – a mistake he would live to regret.

For years this lady had suffered from her husband who was so engrossed in his work she felt lost and alone.

To be clear he wasn’t abusive, he didn’t have an affair on the surface they had a perfect life and he was an amazing provider.

For him being successful at work was his mission. He had built his company from nothing to give them the most amazing life.

Initially, she was enterally grateful for this amazing gift, but as the years went on she realised that the money and all the stuff really meant nothing to her.

She had all the stuff she could ever want, but what she wanted most was an emotional connection with her husband.

To him, he had given her everything. The twins were in private schools they had a beautiful home, in his mind, he was the creator of everything they had.

To him, her unhappiness meant she was ungrateful, over-emotional and selfish.

In his mind, he was working for her happiness.

In her mind, she was genuinely suffering and she was becoming concerned that she was feeling emotionally unsafe as her cries for help were being ignored by him.

She was in pain and he didn’t seem to care!

She did get through to him at one point and he started to help out more around the home, but the practical help she requested didn’t connect them emotionally so he gave up as there was no change in her happiness.

As each year passed her cries for help had fallen on deaf ears and she started to shut down emotionally.

She had stopped seeing or wanting to see her husband as her protector the desire to connect with him emotionally was dying in her.

She was entering a very dangerous place in the relationship as she was becoming her own protector.

Without knowing his rejection of her unhappiness was making him redundant as her husband.

This meant despite all the riches around her she had now lost her feelings for her husband she was numb. Her behaviour had now significantly changed.

For a year she was no longer emotional at home with him, no longer upset, no longer requesting his attention.

To him life was calm again this meant she was happy and so he carried on as normal totally unaware she was getting ready to divorce him.

She had warned him she was in trouble, but because he felt there was NOT a problem, there wasn’t a problem.

This kind of situation is very common and sadly very destructive.

It’s so important to hear a partner who says they are struggling and become a team and support them regardless of what you feel.

In this story, we had a man who thought what he was doing what was right and he ignored her cries for help. This is a terrible mistake as he discovered years later.

These kind of situations are very solvable with the right information and the faster the couple act the quicker they can both protect their marriage.

The challenge couples are not seeing is she had no idea he really didn’t know what to do to help her. Plus she didn’t know how to communicate to him what she really needed because she really didn’t know.

All she knew was she was losing her feelings for him. She needed him, but she didn’t know how to help him love her the way she needed.

So they were both lost and with both people frustrated and protected themselves from each other the love will die. That combined with no desire to seek the help she divorced him.

As a regular reader of this blog, she did eventually come into see me to share this story about her regret of not seeing me, but also with a new brief to make sure she doesn’t make the same mistake again.

The message today is you must never ignore your partners cries for help. What they need might not be obvious or seem ridiculous, but may be very solvable with the right help.

20 couples every week are now getting that help.

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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