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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Successful Marriages Are Created – They Don’t Just Happen!”

After developing a Marriage Breakthrough Program for couples in crisis and applying it to the man on the street, major celebrities, to business leaders and entrepreneurs.

Here are a few of the key principles I have learnt on this amazing journey with couples right on the edge of divorce.

1. The most important focus for any couple.

I have learnt that this decision is critical not just in maintaining a successful marriage, but an essential part of the relationship building process.

Put your partner first..! If your partner feels that anything is more important than them expect problems. What could affect them could be anything from the attractive single person in the office, to a seemingly non-threatening hobby. This is really important, no matter what, they have to feel they come first…

2. The second most important focus.

Couples in trouble find that they will have lost a sense of their own true sell in their marriage. If they live too long in this place low moods, loss of confidence, stress, frustration, anger can cause them to feel exhaustion. They will feel emotionally empty in their quest to save the marriage or escape from it.

Becoming the true you is the second key focus! Understanding who you really are and become the best version of you without fear creates a new way of thinking that enables the creative problem-solving process.

3. The future.

One of the most frightening feelings on the way to marital breakdown is when a person stops seeing the future, or the one they can see looks emotionally painful or unfulfilling.

Align with the joint vision for the future. When two people don’t plan their journey through life together they have nothing to work towards and so they lose mutual investment, trust and respect in each other as the reality or vision doesn’t match their expectation.

4. Learn all you can.

Even the most seasoned couples 50 years married discover they never really knew each other. Ironically they thought they did, only to discover their partners’ mind held a whole new world they never knew about.

Understand how your partner works. The desire and then ability to understand creates safer connections. If you don’t understand your partner this will create pain within them and misunderstandings between you.

5. What drives them?

One of the biggest misunderstandings comes when what drives your partner is not what drives you. This creates confusion and misunderstandings as your priorities will be different.

Learn what needs drive your partner. Not understanding this will only create friction and loss of desire to connect.

6. Differences?

Every couple has differences, but the focus on the weaknesses rather than the strengths are guaranteed to crush any couple, but this generally becomes the focus when life starts to feel wrong.

Discover the differences that attracted you initially. Men and women are totally different without question. Discover your partners’ strengths on your journey through life together.

7. Fears

We have discovered that fears can help individuals disconnect from their true self. This causes an emotional disconnect from self as well as from each other.

Learn what you value and why. Learning what we value and how to align our actions with what we say is important is critical to not let destructive fears drive our decisions.

8. Feelings 

Our feelings good and bad are real, but what about the meanings we attach to our feelings? It is possible that our feelings can get attached to the wrong things if we assume our the meanings are 100% right.

Understanding your feelings and how to translate and control them so the right decisions can be made is critical to safely design your future.

9. Look for the truth

It is true that not all couples are compatible, however, getting confused between compatibility which can’t be solved and the many problems that can be solved needs total clarity.

The truth will set you free, it may be an old saying but it’s the truth. Too many couples would rather end their relationship than seek the truth as the truth can feel more painful.

10. Our thinking affects our lives

Many people are not aware their thinking creates behaviours which then leads to their future. So being out of control of their thinking creates out of control behaviours. Out of control behaviours create uncertainty.

Uncertainty creates fears and fearful people struggle to build secure, passionate relationships.

11. What’s my role?

It’s clear that many couples are not aware that their dynamic will create certain roles which will either work or will not work. The key principle is to discover what roles will free the relationship to go to the depth of connection the couple need.

12. Love all of me

When a couple accepts and loves their partner for who they are, they free each other to become the best they can be.

Relationships that are focused on growth and avoid judgment enable a secure loving connection. Judgement destroys trust and respect.

13. Sex life

What will kill your sex life? One of the barometers of a good relationship is a mutually satisfying sex life. So understanding the foundations and pitfalls is critical.

Most sexual problems are relationship problems and loss of sexual activity cannot be the focus to solve this problem because the pressure kills desire.

14. Money

Many couples fight over money. If the money becomes the focus it’s likely to be a symptom of a deeper issue in the marriage.

Money is not a symbol of power in a relationship. True power is the ability to become magnetic to your partner.

15. Affairs

An affair usually is a symptom of significant problems in the marriage. Of course, the discovery of an affair and the aftermath can become the immediate problem, but when a couples learns why a affair become the solution to a problem then they are armed to solve the problem.

Affair are symptoms of problems.

16. Stress, depression and anxiety.

What comes first the chicken or the egg? Did the stress cause the relationship problems or did the problems cause the stress?

Without a doubt, this can put pressure on a relationship and especially if the stress or depression actually meets the persons’ needs and so they need to keep it to feel safe.

17. Emotional detachment.

If one person becomes emotionally detached they have done so to protect themselves from fear. Understanding the truth behind the fear is the key to no longer needing the detachment for personal security.

18. Conflict

Having a difference of opinion or perspective is healthy.  What’s not healthy is making being right more important than your partners’ feelings.

The skill is to have conflict and grow closer from it.

Is this all I know?

These findings do apply to many couples in crisis, but every couple is unique and so is their relationship and their problems.

I now work only with couples in crisis and I have a unique body of knowledge that enables me to see the source of couples problems quickly, and this enables me to plan their recovery step-by-step.

This unique and strategic approach is applied differently to every couple if you are interested to see what your relationship is capable of achieving please apply here.

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"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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