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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Testament to Life Coaching

OK I know initially I went  as I hoped to save my marriage.  Well it takes two to do that and my ex-husband wasn’t committed to doing so – the lure of the new woman was just too great!

Left with having to pick up the pieces of ‘me’ I’ve continued to see Stephen over the last 11 months, determined to get myself into a better state of mind.  I will readily admit there have been times when I’ve ‘fought’ Stephen with a passion, feeling and believing that I was right and he wrong!  I’ve had sessions cancelled by him as he wasn’t prepared to waste my money (for which I am grateful!).  I’ve argued with him and I’ve had moments of disliking the experience.  None of which sounds very positive!  But in hindsight 99% of these arguments have actually been with myself as I’ve battled to change how I view things, to take responsibility for me and to learn and understand how I can make things different for me. To learn and to realise that I needed to become my own best friend.

There have been times in this ‘process’ that I’ve had huge problems even understanding what was expected of me!  As I’ve said on my blog it often felt as if I was learning a foreign language.  I understood the individual words but the meaning of the sentences eluded me!

So what’s kept me going?  Well in the final analysis a belief that if I didn’t I’d be letting myself down.  Short-changing me.  That I’d miss out on seeing the complete picture.  Also a determination not to end up a forlorn divorcee!!  I wanted so much more than that.

And although I can truthfully say I haven’t been one of Stephen’s high-speed successes (In fact I must have been one of his slowest!) I’ve appreciated his patience, encouragement,  guidance and incredible, steadfast determination in seeing me through,  as I’ve come to terms with understanding my past and planning my new future.

Some of my friends are aghast at what they think it has probably cost me.  But given how many sessions I’ve had it hasn’t been a huge amount and anyway “What price Happiness?”  It can’t have a price.  I’ve probably wasted a few of the sessions – in fact I know I have – but I was the one who chose to do that.  At least Stephen had the decency to temporarily ‘throw me out’ when I was in danger of wasting my money big time!

So where am I now. I have gained a confidence and belief in myself I’d have never thought possible.   A knowledge of me and what makes me buzz and what I need in life to make me happy and feel alive.  I now know, not only that I can and have to be my own best friend but I can also be my own coach!  I can help me out of my own moments of despair!

I have discovered many different versions of me and to each of those versions I now know and understand the values I need to bring to the top of my list to make that version work well.  I can swop in and out of these different versions with greater ease as the days pass and I am discovering that bringing different Values to the fore brings about an inner peace and control within me that I never had before.

But I’ve also learned that so often we fail to really communicate with each other,  we each put our own take on situations based on what’s happened to us in our pasts. We interpret conversations and statements in different ways; we hear what we want to hear and we can fail spectacularly to understand each other if we are not careful.  Our brains filter and distort the words we hear because the person speaking to us has a different past to ours.

I just wish I’d understood all this better a long time ago.  But I also now know that for 17 years I was probably married to the wrong man.  Yes he made me happy – incredibly at times – but not all the time.  Why?  Because ultimately he wasn’t happy with being himself.

I may not have got the future I truly want yet but I now believe it will be possible.   I just know I will attract the right people around me and one day one of them will be the one for me.

So now I guess I’m probably fairly close to ‘going it alone’.  I still feel I would love to know more. Stephen is now gently, kindly  – and firmly –  weaning me off my Coaching Sessions (I’m now going once a month!) and pushing me off on my own,  but I know he is still there for help and guidance should I need it!

I have Goals I need to throw my heart and soul into achieving.  And I believe I can.  I have the tools to do so.

I shall miss the sessions when they finally stop, as I now find them so interesting and enjoyable but I know the time has come for me to fly and very soon – to fly alone. (Sorry about the flying reference – I’m a  glider pilot!).

And if what I’ve written here inspires someone else in trouble to seek, get and learn what I’ve learned then that will be a lovely bonus for me.

Caroline

If you wish to read about the journey Caroline has been on from near suicide to a vision of a wonderful future please click here to read her blog.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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