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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Want to save your marriage? Get on the Same Page FAST!

The most common skill that is lacking in almost every couple I see is their inability to understand their partners’ world.

BUT…

…it’s not their fault.

Nowhere in our education system or from parents are we taught how to really understand another person’s experience. We assume the way the world works for us is roughly the same for others.

If you want a lifelong passionate relationship then understanding your partner’s emotional experience and how they interpret their world it is going to be a critical skill to learn before you can achieve a successful life together.

It’s essential to get on the same page with key topics like:

  • Money
  • Future
  • Kids
  • In-laws
  • Intimacy
  • Priorities
  • Time
  • The past
  • Jealousy

The challenge is it’s impossible to connect and get on the same page with any of the above if you are firstly not emotionally connected.

Without an emotional connection and a heartfelt understanding of each other’s map of their world and experience, couples will experience a loss of connection, loss of trust and a stacking of resentments.

Resentments that are left to grow can lead a person to emotional detachment and for some contempt for their partner.

So yes many people do enter my sessions shocked their partner really wants to leave them or it’s even a possibility.

It’s so important to learn how to look after our relationships. Your relationship must be one of the most important focuses of your life and learning how to become valuable to your partner is a critical skill you will need if you want to keep it.

You can’t be valuable to someone you don’t understand.

So if you are in a marriage and want it to work for life (when I mean work I mean a fun passionate exciting life) then you’re going to need some skills that enable you both to get on the same page.

The reason I have couples sat in front of me and the reason couples are having problems is that they are unable to see their partners world.

So below are 3 alignment skills a person must learn to be on the same page:

1. When my partner is upset what are they really trying to say? 

What is their upset really about? The skill here is to learn how to take upset and grow closer. Most couples misunderstand the upset and this creates distance and resentment that then goes round in circles.

Men and women who are in conflict are not understanding the structure of why they are on such different pages and so they end up protecting themselves, in the moment this kills their love.

Practised for long enough the love can feel permanently dead.

Couples that understand the conflict and what it is for are able to use the conflict to create more attraction and a far deeper connection.

This skill creates more confidence in each other and the relationship and means that conflict is not something to fear but just another normal energy two passionate people will experience.

2. When my partner is talking to me what is really behind their words? 

From an evolutionary standpoint men and women needed to create differing communication structures to survive. These differences are played out every day in my sessions and the couple is totally unaware.

The key to successful communication is not in the speaking and hearing.

The real skill is in understanding the framework of the communication – only when this is understood can their words make sense to each other.

Gaining this skill can massively change the couples connection and the dynamic of the couple’s interaction.

Learning this skill means that the verbal connection can now rebuild trust and help two people to understand that they really do matter to each other.

Without this skill both people can feel very unloved, isolated and insignificant

3. What is it that really drives my partner? 

You can’t influence someone unless you understand what drives them. It’s highly likely your partner is driven differently to you, it’s part of what attracts us to our partners in the beginning.

The key is understanding how to align with what your partner really needs to help them anchor their good feelings to you.

You see without thought your partner will spend their time where they feel good and successful.

Both your jobs are to help your partner feel great about themselves when they are with you.

The challenge for most couples is they don’t understand how to do this so each person lives in an emotional deficit in the relationship and is driven to where they feel good about themselves.

This usually results in both people having to meet their core needs outside the relationship which can be devastating.

In summary

Relationships should be about two people connecting and building more fun, more passion, more love.

Sadly the reality for most couples is their inability to understand their partners’ world only creates more distance so as they are never on the same page they either settle or they leave.

I encourage all couples no matter how bad it is to find out what’s really possible with the right information and perspective.

IMPORTANT: It’s impossible to build a passionate life with anyone if you don’t understand their world so if your partner doesn’t make sense to you and you don’t know how to hear or be heard then please take action now.

 

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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