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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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What really causes a person to want to leave their relationship?

If you were wanting to save your relationship then the answer to this question is potentially gold, and the answer is not what you think. If you are thinking of leaving your relationship then this may help you understand what is happening to you.

Leaving a relationship is a big life changing step and so it’s important to understand what’s really going on to make sure the emotional distress is not creating a fog that could lead to a permanent mistake.

To be clear I agree certain couples shouldn’t be together, however far too many couples are splitting up because they are unaware of what you are about to read.

The main reason a person would want to leave their relationship is not what most people think and as you scan todays post you will see what I mean.

Couples that seem to have it all are confused that their relationships are breaking down when on paper they should perfectly happy.

The next paragraph is important…

The reason a person would want to leave their relationship is because they are doing something within themselves and are not liking what they are feeling on the back of what they are doing to themselves!

[Please read that again.]

Here is the problem, the person is not usually aware they are starting to creating an experience that will help them feel they want to exit their relationship.

So the feeling they are creating within themselves helps them to feel awful, especially when they are with their partner. Some will create physical symptoms of anxiety, stress and an overwhelming need to get out of the house, or they will feel relieved when their partner goes out.

They now have further proof their partner is the problem because when they spend time with friends or at work they feel normal.

So their conclusion is logical. I feel bad when I’m with my partner, but great when I’m with my family or friends, but for a large percentage of couples this is an illusion.

I’ll explain…

What the person wanting to leave has not understood is a very simple fact. When they are with their partner they are creating behavioural changes that contradict their core essence and identity and these changes create an experience that is physically and emotionally unpleasant for that person.

This is why many people can communicate, “I don’t like who I am/become when I’m with you”. In essence what they are saying is they are becoming a different identity in the relationship and they don’t like it. So to be themselves again they feel they have to leave.

With this train of thought caused by number of factors a person has the ability to think themselves out of a relationship.

So many people come to my consultations shocked at the process they have been going through without realising.

To help a person in this place we need to help that person understand what they creating within themselves and why?

Secondly we need to help their partner understand what can seem like a dramatic change of personality and help them become an effective support.

Many people who are shocked by their partners desire to leave can behave in ways that unfortunately confirm leaving the relationship is the right decision.

Sadly too many people regret divorcing their partner so getting to the truth is so important to avoid a costly mistake.

Need my help you know what to do.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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