Who do you think taught you to have a relationship? When you consider this, where do your thoughts take you? Was it your parents, the schools, your friends, did you learn what you know through trial and error, what is the answer for you?
When you think back to who taught you, do you think they were really qualified to help you? Did they have a relationship that you would like? Did they know how to help you have a relationship that would be successful?
- The acid test is to look at the relationship you are in now. Are you really happy?
If your relationship is struggling it may not be yours or your partners fault, it maybe that the model of what equals a successful relationship, that was given to you both as children, may have been the wrong one and you didn’t know.
Of course if this has happened to you, then you may not be aware of this because, whatever you grew up with was normal to you.
So what you went through growing up and the model that was presented to you may not be normal to your partner.
So when the differing “normals” clash problems start to happen and fighting can start.
Examples of what clients have called “normal” and who taught them
- Someone always has to back down in relationship so to keep the peace I made that someone me. She copied her mother. The result: She spent years resenting her husband and their sex life died.
- To keep my wife calm, shouting at her works, she might get upset initially, but it stops her. He copied his father. The result: His wife became very depressed, stressed and ill all the time.
- When I become depressed I get more love. Her depressed mother showed her how to do this. The result: She stayed depressed.
- If i’m going to give to her, what’s in it for me? Both his parents taught him this. The result: resentment, lack of respect, loss of passion.
This list is potentially massive, but you get the idea.
BUT what is important is where do these thoughts take you. It’s likely that you can see your partners parents in his, or her behaviours. BUT can you see your own if not, ask them see what they say.
Is it time to learn how a relationship really works? Are your parents relationship skills questionable?
A relationship is a life decision, and because you only get one life getting it right is critical, especially if you have children. After all if you have learnt the wrong pattern as parents, you are likely to pass it on to them is this what you really want?
You can learn the truth here today!
The benefits are massive: If you take the time to unlearn what doesn’t work and replace it with what will.
Not only will your relationship last, but the passion will naturally grow again.