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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Why men don’t listen to their wives…

Many women complain to me that their husband doesn’t listen or won’t listen to her.

She can complain that he is emotionally unavailable or just not capable of an emotional connection, suggesting that he is broken. 

Not hearing her can leave her feeling disconnected, resentful, and lonely in the marriage.

For women communication is a critical part of building trust, deepening connection so she can feel safe to be herself in her marriage. This helps her to feel safe to love him.

If she can’t connect with him she can feel they are the wrong fit or he doesn’t care or she’s not enough for him. This will lead her to protect herself from him and now a vicious cycle can start.

>>>Today I’m going to share the real reason why men don’t listen to their wives.

When I’m interviewing couples to work with one factor always presents itself.

As each person describes their history, the woman will share her pain her problems, and the emotional journey she has been on with him.

In contrast, he will usually describe their history as a factual journey of them being together minus the emotions.

So what is this telling us?

Is he really non-emotional or is his communication model naturally organised differently to women and she is not aware of this?

When a woman brings emotions to a man he is naturally designed to not trust her emotions because he knows they can change, to him she can be erratic or unreasonable.

If I were to generalise a typical man’s view is…

  • She doesn’t say what she means 
  • She can change her mind a lot
  • She can say she likes things when he knows she doesn’t 
  • She can tell him what she wants and then not be happy when she gets it
  • She can become emotional over the smallest of things
  • She can be upset for no reason
  • She can tell him she hates him one day and then loves him the next
  • She can be miserable with him and instantly switch and be happy when a friend calls
  • She can lie about past events
  • She’s overly emotional and unreasonable
  • She’s controlling

Simply speaking men don’t trust her emotions they only trust the facts.

When women bring emotions to men he shuts down because there is so much information that really doesn’t make sense to him.

In his world, he can listen to what she is saying offer her a solution only to be met with her now being more upset with him.

My message today is that men and women communicate so differently in an intimate relationship that getting through in a meaningful way to each other is such a struggle they can go round and round in circles.

Women tell me they have been crystal clear about what they are saying until I help them understand how their husbands are translating their words.

For men, women are never in a solution-based model.

Men are usually looking for solutions they want to fix the problems, but with no real understanding or trust in what she is communicating, he is going to fail at being successful with her.

So he can give up as she seems impossible to please – pleasing her is his primary mission until he feels unsafe in the relationship which is when he shuts down.

Men see a problem shared with his wife is a problem doubled so he can say very little and tries to solve it himself.

So how do you bridge such a large gap in communication styles?

1: Help men learn the steps to hearing her emotions as facts that enable him to support her in the way she wants.

2. Then help women to understand her emotions her pain her criticism of him is confusing him and pushing him away not making him want to change.

Believe me, I have seen so many men who have discovered how to be successful with wife, his confidence soars and this ignites his passion for her again.

This, of course, is just one of many disconnects that couples are suffering from without knowing.

If you want to hear the real reason you are in trouble make contact with us so we can assess you and put you back on track with simple steps.

How To Save Your Marriage Alone!
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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