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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How To Reinvent You After A Break Up

The Mail Online reported yesterday that, Ultimate Big Brother’s Chantelle admits: ‘I should have had therapy after my divorce, not plastic surgery’

Women in particular feel a big need to change their appearance to help them feel good after a relationship break up. The problem is because the change they usually choose is external the initial feelings are artificial and so they don’t last very long.

A woman’s natural beauty and confidence comes from within her and so unless she puts her focus into this area of her life and herself she will always ultimately feel the same no matter what she does to her hair, clothes, make-up and now the extreme make-over, plastic surgery.

If a woman really wants to reinvent herself what she needs to do is understand that she has many versions of her already and the shift to get from the painful and fearful version of her into the version that will make her feel happy, attractive and sexy again will never happen though any external intervention long-term.

The many versions of you

Imagine if you knew all the different parts of you, and you knew how to bring them out on demand.

  • The fun you
  • The sexy you
  • The you that always knows what to do to make you happy and keep you safe.

In that process of getting to know these different versions of you and in women there are 20+, you’ll also get to retire the versions of you which feel exhausted at the life you have been living, these parts of you that might always be worried or fearful, maybe depressed or anxious.

When life conditions change people change automatically

When relationships are in trouble both parties go into fear states where they are protecting themselves from what might happen in the future.

If their relationship problems have been going on for a while they can get stuck in these fears states and so they live in a distorted version of themselves always on the look out for problems.

So if the fear was massive as in Chantelle’s case she would go for a big change, which if you have watched the UK’s Channel 4 programme “Ultimate Big Brother” you can see that after her surgery she didn’t get the change she really wanted… She is not alone!

If you would like more information on how to get to know the different versions of you or you would like help with your break up and how to reinvent you so it lasts please click here

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • How can we tell if we are heading for divorce? - October 19, 2025
  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs? - July 15, 2025
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025

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  • 5 Ways Smart Couples Go Emotionally Broke
  • Case Study – “My journey to peace and looking forward to the future” 
  • “Most Couples Aren’t Broken – They’re Just Lost.”
  • “After 39 years, we finally stopped the cycle we thought we’d never escape.”
  • Ask Stephen: “When Communication Stops: How to Lead When Your Partner Shuts Down”
  • Disconnected for over 20 years…
  • *NEW* – Ask Stephen
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  • Four Couples. Four Turning Points. One Common Truth.
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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

“I was planning our separation and divorce”

November 27, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

We appointed Stephen when our marriage was in crisis. I had started planning our separation and divorce following on from discovering my husband’s short-term affair which occurred at the latest stages of my pregnancy. My husband had lied about the affair which I discovered a year later.  The timing was extremely sensitive and the deceit was […]

Case Study – “My journey to peace and looking forward to the future” 

November 12, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

When your relationship with yourself is fractured, every relationship you enter will reflect that fracture. This woman faced years of hidden pain that surfaced when her marriage began to collapse. What follows is her story a raw, courageous journey from survival to peace, and from trauma to self-leadership in her own words. She was keen […]

“After 39 years, we finally stopped the cycle we thought we’d never escape.”

November 4, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Stephen’s Marriage Breakthrough Program is designed to end conflict fast, rebuild safety, and live in the best part of our marriage without therapy or blame.” Question: What were the problem(s) that made you seek Stephens’ help? My wife and I had everything you could wish for in life after 39 years of marriage. Material stability […]

Disconnected for over 20 years…

October 26, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

What do you do when your marriage has been disconnected over 20 years, when you have tried many kinds of help without success. Do you give up or search for a new approach? What were the problem(s) that made you seek Stephens help?  My husband and I will have been married for 40 years next […]

Four Couples. Four Turning Points. One Common Truth.

October 10, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Every couple who arrives at my door is different, but the story beneath the surface is often the same: two people lost in patterns they don’t understand, wondering if there’s a way back. Below are four short stories of couples who reached out to me they reached breaking point and through some simple changes found […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

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Recent Posts

  • “I was planning our separation and divorce”
  • 5 Ways Smart Couples Go Emotionally Broke
  • Case Study – “My journey to peace and looking forward to the future” 
  • “Most Couples Aren’t Broken – They’re Just Lost.”
  • “After 39 years, we finally stopped the cycle we thought we’d never escape.”

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Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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