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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Different Versions Of You

Have you ever noticed that when you speak to different people they bring our different versions of you? These different people will give you a feeling inside, and from those feelings you’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from here you’ll create your behaviours.

Have you ever wondered why and how this happens? Understanding this will not only change your perspective on the world you live in, but it will also change your perspective on your relationships.

Did you know you have created different versions of you

In each of us are many different personalities for example, for a woman there would be the soft feminine version of her, the protective masculine side, the naughty sexy side, the fun loving side, the adventure side, in fact she can have 20+ different versions of her that at some point she created without knowing.

She thinks this is just the way she is, but what she doesn’t yet know is she can control these versions of herself and change her future. Men are the same.

Depending on which version of ourselves we are in, we will always create a different outcome.

So when people speak to us what happens is the meaning we give to what that person is doing or saying will bring out a different version of us.

So the state we are in before they talk to us combined with our meaning of them creates a feeling within us.

So yesterday you can be getting on just fine with your partner, or friend and the today nothing seems to have changed, but something doesn’t feel right, or the same.

The reason this happened is because yesterday a different version of you was out and a different version of them was out. Today you will have brought out different versions of each other again and so it doesn’t feel the same.

Every time you interact with anyone this is happening and so you are creating different worlds with the same people and this can scare you, excite you, make you happy, or sad.

So with these constant changes you will give this a meaning and attach your meaning to them. You might say I don’t like him, or she is miserable or he’s so exciting.

Live in the wrong version of you and you’ll experience a painful life

We see people changing all the time, BUT what we don’t yet know is these different versions of ourselves can create different futures, because from these different states and versions of ourselves we will create different decisions. Different decisions equals different futures.

What is more concerning is when someone gets stuck, and lives constantly in one personality type, because they feel safer, but the result can be depression, anxiety or just never happy and can’t work out why.

  • For example a person may have been brought up in a family that argues all the time. To survive a masculine aggressive version of that person would be created. A person who lives in this version of themselves will have a very tough future because the outside world will be constantly rejecting that default behaviour.

They get sent to anger management when what they really need is to retire the wrong version of themselves and bring our other productive versions of themselves that will help them to support their future.

This of course is just one example.

  • If this has struck a chord with you Stephen Hedger runs a self-discovery session to help people understand the different version of them so they can create futures and relationship that are happier stronger and in control.
    If you want to know more about this click here
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • How can we tell if we are heading for divorce? - October 19, 2025
  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs? - July 15, 2025
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

“The Affair Wasn’t the End. It Was the Wake-Up Call.”

December 18, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

He didn’t come to fix his marriage. He came because everything he thought he knew about himself had collapsed. An affair was the symptom, not the cause. What follows is the story of how ownership replaced blame, fear gave way to leadership, and a marriage that should have ended found a future worth fighting for. […]

“I was planning our separation and divorce”

November 27, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

We appointed Stephen when our marriage was in crisis. I had started planning our separation and divorce following on from discovering my husband’s short-term affair which occurred at the latest stages of my pregnancy. My husband had lied about the affair which I discovered a year later.  The timing was extremely sensitive and the deceit was […]

Case Study – “My journey to peace and looking forward to the future” 

November 12, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

When your relationship with yourself is fractured, every relationship you enter will reflect that fracture. This woman faced years of hidden pain that surfaced when her marriage began to collapse. What follows is her story a raw, courageous journey from survival to peace, and from trauma to self-leadership in her own words. She was keen […]

“After 39 years, we finally stopped the cycle we thought we’d never escape.”

November 4, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Stephen’s Marriage Breakthrough Program is designed to end conflict fast, rebuild safety, and live in the best part of our marriage without therapy or blame.” Question: What were the problem(s) that made you seek Stephens’ help? My wife and I had everything you could wish for in life after 39 years of marriage. Material stability […]

Disconnected for over 20 years…

October 26, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

What do you do when your marriage has been disconnected over 20 years, when you have tried many kinds of help without success. Do you give up or search for a new approach? What were the problem(s) that made you seek Stephens help?  My husband and I will have been married for 40 years next […]

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Recent Posts

  • The Fork in the Road Most Couples Miss
  • Stuck in level 3 – The Moment a Marriage Becomes Unpredictable
  • In Crisis? Avoid This Mistake…
  • “The Affair Wasn’t the End. It Was the Wake-Up Call.”
  • Why Marriages Fail… (This is why love isn’t enough)

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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