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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Different Versions Of You

Have you ever noticed that when you speak to different people they bring our different versions of you? These different people will give you a feeling inside, and from those feelings you’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from here you’ll create your behaviours.

Have you ever wondered why and how this happens? Understanding this will not only change your perspective on the world you live in, but it will also change your perspective on your relationships.

Did you know you have created different versions of you

In each of us are many different personalities for example, for a woman there would be the soft feminine version of her, the protective masculine side, the naughty sexy side, the fun loving side, the adventure side, in fact she can have 20+ different versions of her that at some point she created without knowing.

She thinks this is just the way she is, but what she doesn’t yet know is she can control these versions of herself and change her future. Men are the same.

Depending on which version of ourselves we are in, we will always create a different outcome.

So when people speak to us what happens is the meaning we give to what that person is doing or saying will bring out a different version of us.

So the state we are in before they talk to us combined with our meaning of them creates a feeling within us.

So yesterday you can be getting on just fine with your partner, or friend and the today nothing seems to have changed, but something doesn’t feel right, or the same.

The reason this happened is because yesterday a different version of you was out and a different version of them was out. Today you will have brought out different versions of each other again and so it doesn’t feel the same.

Every time you interact with anyone this is happening and so you are creating different worlds with the same people and this can scare you, excite you, make you happy, or sad.

So with these constant changes you will give this a meaning and attach your meaning to them. You might say I don’t like him, or she is miserable or he’s so exciting.

Live in the wrong version of you and you’ll experience a painful life

We see people changing all the time, BUT what we don’t yet know is these different versions of ourselves can create different futures, because from these different states and versions of ourselves we will create different decisions. Different decisions equals different futures.

What is more concerning is when someone gets stuck, and lives constantly in one personality type, because they feel safer, but the result can be depression, anxiety or just never happy and can’t work out why.

  • For example a person may have been brought up in a family that argues all the time. To survive a masculine aggressive version of that person would be created. A person who lives in this version of themselves will have a very tough future because the outside world will be constantly rejecting that default behaviour.

They get sent to anger management when what they really need is to retire the wrong version of themselves and bring our other productive versions of themselves that will help them to support their future.

This of course is just one example.

  • If this has struck a chord with you Stephen Hedger runs a self-discovery session to help people understand the different version of them so they can create futures and relationship that are happier stronger and in control.
    If you want to know more about this click here
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • How can we tell if we are heading for divorce? - October 19, 2025
  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs? - July 15, 2025
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Case Study: She Didn’t Fall Out of Love. She Stopped Recognising Herself.

July 28, 2026 By Stephen Hedger

The hidden reason behind a six-year affair – and why the affair was never the real problem. Quick Summary Clients: David (53) and Claire (50) Married: 28 years Together since: Their teenage years Children: Two Challenge: Claire had been having an affair for six years. David believed the affair had destroyed their marriage. Claire insisted she still loved her husband […]

Case Study: They Thought They Were Arguing About the Little Things. They Weren’t.

July 25, 2026 By Stephen Hedger

How one couple stopped constant bickering when they discovered the expectations hiding underneath it Names and identifying details have been changed. By the time Mark and Rachel came to see me, they were exhausted with each other. They weren’t having enormous arguments about affairs, money or whether to stay married. They were arguing about the […]

Case Study: Her Husband Was Preparing to Move Out. So She Stopped Waiting for Him to Change.

July 21, 2026 By Stephen Hedger

Can one person begin changing a marriage when their partner is no longer convinced it can be saved? This clients story shows what happened when one woman stopped trying to persuade her husband and began changing the part of the relationship she could influence. Quick Summary ClientsA professional couple, married for approximately seven years. ChallengeHer […]

Case Study: He Built a Life for His Family. He Also Taught His Wife How to Live Without Him.

July 17, 2026 By Stephen Hedger

When James finally made his marriage a priority, Emma had already learned not to rely on him. When James began coming home earlier, he expected Emma to be pleased. Years before, she had repeatedly asked him to spend less time at work. Now he was protecting his evenings, turning down calls and making more time […]

Case Study: “We Thought We Had a Communication Problem. We Didn’t.”

July 13, 2026 By Stephen Hedger

Most Couples Are Solving the Wrong Problem Without Realising For years, James and Rebecca believed they had a communication problem. Every difficult conversation ended in frustration. James felt as though nothing he said was ever understood. Rebecca felt as though nothing she felt was ever acknowledged. The more they talked, the worse things became. Eventually […]

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Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

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Recent Posts

  • Case Study: She Didn’t Fall Out of Love. She Stopped Recognising Herself.
  • Case Study: They Thought They Were Arguing About the Little Things. They Weren’t.
  • Case Study: Her Husband Was Preparing to Move Out. So She Stopped Waiting for Him to Change.
  • Case Study: He Built a Life for His Family. He Also Taught His Wife How to Live Without Him.
  • Case Study: “We Thought We Had a Communication Problem. We Didn’t.”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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