Help Advice Support & Guidance
It’s important to watch this video all the way through.
The reason for sharing this is because what if you are missing what’s really happening in your relationship, your life, in your children. Is it possible that you are so wrapped up with your own focus of attention you are missing changes which could be affecting your life.
Are you living consciously, are you seeing what’s happening right before your eyes? Lets find out!
We are so conditioned to look for whats wrong in our world we can use that model, or focus to run our relationships. So to contrast that usual focus on the negative what you would come up with if you were to focus on what it is you love about your partner.
After all you wouldn’t be with them if you didn’t love them, so lets help them to feel valued by YOU today.
Tell your partner this and far more about what it is you love about them, and why they are so special to you. Make it your mission this week to give the best of you to your wonderful partner.
Let us know how you got on..
I am going to do this with you so in 21 days I will share with you my results with my wife.
I like to keep things simple and discover how to create the biggest impact for couples and those seeking love. I would like to share with you this one exercise that I ask individuals and couples to complete. If you are in a couple you can do this on your own and make this a wonderful gift for your partner.
The task is to find 5 things per day you love about your partner for just 21 days. Write it down every day and present your “Love List” to your partner on the 22nd day. How you present your “Love List” after 21 days it is up to you. For those of you on your own find 5 things you love about your closest friend.
Most couples and especially those having problems spend a lot of time focused on everything that’s wrong with their relationship. This exercise creates a very different focus and result in the state of the couple.
Of course it is important that your loved ones know how much you love them, but the shift with your happiness as a result of this “GIVING” exercise is the critical factor. The real key to happiness is giving to those you love.
21 days from now the world you live in could feel very different. Remember I’m going to do this with you.
Too many people ignore the alarms in their relationship and within themselves and end up heading for the rocks. With the right focus this can be avoided but whatever you do, doing nothing is not a good choice and i’ll explain why…
Your mind and body is constantly working to ensure your survival. The problem is most people see the alarm as the problems and try to shut them down.
This is why individuals and couples find themselves in so much trouble.
For example: Arguments: The arguments are the signal (alarm) that something has to change, we can work together to stop the arguments, but the real issue that created the alarm will still be there.
This is why couples end up going round in circles.
Whatever your presenting problem, or alarm you can be 99% sure that that is not the real problem.
Example: I remember being told about advice a counsellor gave to one of my clients. The husband had complained about his wife dramatically over reacting and arguing with him. So the diagnosis was she had anger management issues, his wife believed the diagnosis and became depressed because she had to suppress her true feelings. [Read more...]
Most of us want happiness, we want to feel the way we want to feel in all parts of our life. But how does happiness really happen? Is it something we need to wait for, or is it something we create?
If you have decided to wait for happiness then what happens if it doesn’t turn up? What happens if happiness is not due to show up for 5 years? What if happiness forgets to come?
What if happiness does not happen this way what if happiness is down to you? What if the best way to happiness is if you take control and become the creator of your happiness.
What if you decide to learn and master the art of happiness? [Read more...]
These are the focuses of the mind that you need to make your enemy before they take control of you.
Indifference: This will put you on any path that comes along, from here you are out of control drifting though life, fingers crossed something will change. Of course things will change, you’ll be older and drifting.
Indecision: Will steal from you the opportunities that present themselves to you, it will even stop you looking for what you really need.
Doubt: Not everything is this world is going to be good for you, but if you let doubt become apart of you, where you doubt everything including yourself then trouble is going to be yours.
Worry: The process of worry is designed to tell you something has to change. If all you do is worry and take no action for growth then you become the the worry, at that point it’s really time to worry, because now you’re really stuck. [Read more...]
Dear Valued Reader an important message…
From the desk of Stephen Hedger Relationship Coach
Over the next 15 days you will be receiving “FREE” The 7 Master skills needed to create an amazing lasting and passionate relationship.
I am not sure which day this week it will start, but I want you to be ready because it will change your life for ever.
As a bonus, I will also be providing you with what actions you need to take to make those master skills a success for your relationship.
“Please let your friends and family know that this is coming this week and get them to
Subscribe FREE by clicking here today!”
This is very exciting and an honour for me to be able to help you and all of my valued subscribers from all over the world.
To your success…
Warm wishes…
Stephen Hedger
I mean you have to really want it. Not just talk about it. You have to be willing to take massive actions fearlessly. If you have not got what you want today, ask yourself why? Is it lack of focus? Do you fear something? Do you not know what to do? Whatever is blocking you has to be overcome…
…or this year will be the same as last year.
If you are focusing on what you want for you this year my advice would be.
The rules of life are simple, what you focus on is what you’ll get. So don’t focus on what you don’t want, focus on what you do.
Many people never achieve what they really want because they are scared that they won’t get it, or they won’t be enough in some way.
So their fears focus them on not having what they want. This results in them focusing not only on not getting what they want, but also on taking little or no action towards it.
Little action gets little to no results, and so they have proof that they will never have it.
Is this what you will do? Are you going to set yourself up to fail every day?
Everyone has the freedom and the right to have what they want, and you are no different.
Whatever your focus is this year, go and get it. Plan it now and above all make your goals your passion, do something everyday to make what you say is important to you come true.
You are designed to grow to contribute to yourself and others. You are designed to be amazing, you are amazing you just have not yet realised how amazing you are.
The wonders of this world are not designed just for others, they are for you, all you have to do is stop fighting the world go with the flow of how sucess works and create the patterns in you, that will give you all you desire.
The key to all this is to break old patterns of behaviour.
Create new empowering patterns that will help you to be the person you want to be in the life that you want to live.
The question now is how? What do you feel you have to do right now to get the ball rolling?
As we end another year and head into 2011. I have a question for you? What will make the difference for you? If you could change just 3 things what would you change and why?
What would make the biggest difference in your life if just 3 things were to be just the way you want them to be? Take a moment to reflect on what changes you really want to make.
Most people start a new year with a resolution or two that quickly fade mainly because what they promise to themselves they don’t want enough.
Give yourself good enough reasons to make changes happen and you will get all you desire.
Never settle for a mediocre life, a life rich with all you desire can be yours, all you have to do is be fearless in your quest to attract all that life has waiting for you.
What you get is up to you!
There is never a greater wake up call for life than knowing that today could be our last. As my own father sits in hospital having suffered a heart attack just 2 days ago, it is so easy to see how we always expect there to be a tomorrow.
As I drove to the hospital not knowing what that night would bring, one thing struck me hard. I was forced to imagine what life would be like without him.
It is these moments that present a shock reminder of the true value of life. It is so easy to take for granted the lives of ourselves and those we love.
One day is going to be the last day for all of us, this is a fact we all face.
As I reflect on the past 72 hours of uncertainty, there is one thing I am sure of. That is to make sure that I do not waste a single moment.
I will be the absolute best I can be in every area of my own life, for those I love and for those whom I have the privilege to meet, or work with on my own journey through life.
So today is the day I bring my father home and I feel immense gratitude to the surgeon who rushed from his home to save my fathers life. To the amazing NHS staff from the porters to the nurses to the doctors who all were the best they could be for us.
There is so much to learn from the events that life brings us.
The biggest message for myself is to value every single moment, understand what’s really important and to never stop giving.
As this will be my last post until the new year, may I take this opportunity to wish you a happy Christmas Day and to a New Year that brings you all you wish for.
Warm Wishes from…
A very thankful Stephen Hedger
As we head towards Christmas and the new year I want to share with you a video I watch every year at about this time. It is always for me a time of reflection.
When I look back on where I have come from I am always reminded of this amazing speech made by Steve Jobs (co-founder, Chairman, and CEO of Apple Inc and former CEO of Pixar Animation Studios).
It’s this perspective on work and life that reminds me why I do what I do. Hope you enjoy it as much as I.
Every day I write about relationship problems that apply to many people, but I know you have your own issues and questions about your own relationship.
Very often we feel that our problems are unique to us and so we feel isolated and so we suffer in silence.
This is you chance to ask your question and help others know they are not alone.
I will do my best to answer all the questions I receive in my daily posts.
I look forward to your questions.
Kind regards
Stephen Hedger
Relationship Coach
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