• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQs
  • Success Stories
  • About
  • Appointments
  • Blog

A thought for Sunday

A couple hits a crisis point and they realise they don’t want the marriage to end so they start talking unaware of their next problem.

Many people that hit a relationship crisis can find themselves talking to each other more than they ever have before.

Opening up communication is great however there are some pitfalls that couples must open their eyes to if this has happened to them.

Initially, some couples may feel closer and more connected as they join forces on a mission to not let their crisis end their marriage, this can create a great feeling of connection and purpose.

For the first time in a long time they may feel like a team again.

They may feel better and relieved that the danger has passed, but this is where their danger sits.

The pattern they were both in is the same pattern all humans use when any danger is nearby, they both wake up and become conscious of the danger.

So the couple may practice being “conscious” for a few days or weeks.

The problem they are facing happens when their conscious energy subsidies due to the danger no longer being present.

Now the old patterns, the patterns that created the crisis can slowly return.

You see just because the couple became conscious and in the moment are happier, it doesn’t mean the problems have been understood and are now gone.

Waking up to a problem doesn’t mean the couple knows what the real problem is.

To make matters worse the knowledge needed to solve a couple’s problems won’t naturally descend into either person’s consciousness.

It’s like asking a person to think really hard and the ability to speak a new language will suddenly appear. You simply cannot think about speaking “French” it has to be learned.

Consciousness is the first step I use to help my clients to connect with. I have to wake them up to what they cannot see.

There is little point in opening your eyes and still be blind to the truth.

Once a couple is awake then the process of repatterning must take place as each person can start to see the real challenges they face.

They must know how they can change to positively influence each other.

They must understand…

  • How to choose their own emotions
  • They must understand the foundation of attraction.
  • They must learn how each person is driven differently
  • How their fears are influenced by their ill-formed values and limiting beliefs.

These are just a few of the many skills the couple must learn to bring a rewarding connection to each other.

The key is to make that new energy the new pattern and this only happens through understanding and practice.

Consciousness and desire to change is only the first step of the couples journey to lasting change.

The destructive patterns must be understood and replaced.

You see if the process of meeting a critical need is disconnecting the person from who they are, wouldn’t the future be a challenge for that person and their partner?

One example is when things go wrong, have they changed that pattern so they create more love and more security as an end result?

Anyone can exist in a relationship that is 100% happy, the problem is they simply don’t exist.

So whilst the couple is basking in the success of we feel happier now we are not in crisis, at some point a problem will strike and the old patterns will descend if the correct new pattern has not been formed.

That will in turn spark the old fear patterns in both people, self-protection will take over and we are back to where we started.

This time in slightly worse than we were before.

The process of thinking we fixed it, but really we didn’t can exhaust couples into wondering if they actually chose the wrong partner.

In most cases they are simply missing the right information and compatibility isn’t the core issue at all.

What you know, isn’t all there is!

Please remember what you know, isn’t all there is to know and your partners’ world is not like yours at all.

So judging your partner by using your own expectations and filters will provide a distorted and unfair perception of the situation.

It’s only getting to the core problems and shifting them is where a couple’s happiness will sit.

Far too many people think they know best and try to fix their problems themselves, what couples have to know to navigate their life together is significant.

This is why so many couples struggle, the knowledge they need isn’t common knowledge.

I write these posts to help people develop an interest, become curious, and broaden their understanding of the many influencing factors that affect couples.

Why waste your time and energy on a trial and error model that could only make the problems worse?

Category iconA thought for Sunday

"Follow simple yet powerful steps designed to save and reignite a marriage fast no matter what has happened"

Get Access Now!

Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3
  • The Divorce Path – Divorce Prevention Part 2
  • Mistakes that lead couples to Divorce – Part 1
  • Can’t live with you. Can’t live without you!
  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post
  • Committing to Personal Integrity – Mini Post
  • Men are afraid – Mini Post
  • Are you in a trading relationship? – Mini post
  • Communicating with MEN – Mini Post
  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
  • “Divorce won’t solve this…” – Mini Post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Discussion
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

 

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2023 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top