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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Can my marriage be saved?

It started off so well but relationships are complicated and keeping one alive for a lifetime is a challenge as many are finding out.

So should those that are suffering throw in the towel? 

One train of thought is if a person puts their heart and soul into their marriage for 3-6 months and the relationship was no better then maybe there is a case for moving on.

BUT!

The problem with this thought is people are unaware of how to bring the best of themselves to their relationship.

The first hurdle is far too many people feel their problems are down to their partner. 

I was working with one lady who was awful to her husband and yet she couldn’t seem to attach his lack of motivation in the marriage to how she was behaving towards him.

When relationships start to go wrong the couple can react in ways to rebalance these feelings.

For example: Mums and dads can start to get their needs met through the children, husbands and wives can get their needs met through their work.

Meeting each other needs keeps the connection and trust alive. 

The problem many couples have is they are disconnected to what these needs are for each other and so they gravitate to meeting their own needs outside of the marriage and this starves the marriage of what it needs to stay alive.

In addition, the identity of husband and wife can get lost in a couples busy life.

This causes a problem because the role of a husband and a wife is very different from their professional and parental roles.

If the couple tries to use their professional or parental identities in their marriage they will struggle to keep connection attraction and passion alive.

So what do we have so far, firstly many people think their partner has to change for the relationship to work so they are not focused on being better partners themselves – this is a recipe for disaster.

They are disconnected from each others core needs and they can lose connection to the roles of husband and wife.

This combination of problems can create a significant disconnect as the two people struggle to connect with themselves and each other when they are together.

Many people can find they have a better connection with themselves when they are away from their partner.

This process builds resentment and disconnect.

Now let’s add into the equation the differences between men and women in communication and what each genders needs for the relationship to remain attractive. 

Both people will need connection, love and passion, but their routes to it will be very different and this will not be obvious at the start of the relationship.

My point for today’s post is how can a person bring the best of themselves to their relationship if they don’t know how to bring value to their partner in a way that keeps the connection and passion alive.

You can’t bring the natural thinking of a man and assume he will understand a womans needs in an intimate relationship.

Men and women have to learn a different way of thinking to keep their connection alive and far too many have no idea what this means.

Many people are seeing their divorce or a new relationship is the solution to a relationship that gone wrong unaware they are a part of the problem.

Understanding how to be a valuable and effective partner is the solution to many marital problems.

If you can bring that valuable person to your relationship and that isn’t good enough for your partner then leaving is probably the right decision because you can’t do any more than be the best of yourself. 

Becoming valuable to each other is a skill that needs to be learnt and no one tells us this is critical to keeping you and your partner in the marriage.

Successful healthy relationships are created they don’t just happen so learning how is such an important skill to master and pass on.

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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