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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Can my marriage be saved?

It started off so well but relationships are complicated and keeping one alive for a lifetime is a challenge as many are finding out.

So should those that are suffering throw in the towel? 

One train of thought is if a person puts their heart and soul into their marriage for 3-6 months and the relationship was no better then maybe there is a case for moving on.

BUT!

The problem with this thought is people are unaware of how to bring the best of themselves to their relationship.

The first hurdle is far too many people feel their problems are down to their partner. 

I was working with one lady who was awful to her husband and yet she couldn’t seem to attach his lack of motivation in the marriage to how she was behaving towards him.

When relationships start to go wrong the couple can react in ways to rebalance these feelings.

For example: Mums and dads can start to get their needs met through the children, husbands and wives can get their needs met through their work.

Meeting each other needs keeps the connection and trust alive. 

The problem many couples have is they are disconnected to what these needs are for each other and so they gravitate to meeting their own needs outside of the marriage and this starves the marriage of what it needs to stay alive.

In addition, the identity of husband and wife can get lost in a couples busy life.

This causes a problem because the role of a husband and a wife is very different from their professional and parental roles.

If the couple tries to use their professional or parental identities in their marriage they will struggle to keep connection attraction and passion alive.

So what do we have so far, firstly many people think their partner has to change for the relationship to work so they are not focused on being better partners themselves – this is a recipe for disaster.

They are disconnected from each others core needs and they can lose connection to the roles of husband and wife.

This combination of problems can create a significant disconnect as the two people struggle to connect with themselves and each other when they are together.

Many people can find they have a better connection with themselves when they are away from their partner.

This process builds resentment and disconnect.

Now let’s add into the equation the differences between men and women in communication and what each genders needs for the relationship to remain attractive. 

Both people will need connection, love and passion, but their routes to it will be very different and this will not be obvious at the start of the relationship.

My point for today’s post is how can a person bring the best of themselves to their relationship if they don’t know how to bring value to their partner in a way that keeps the connection and passion alive.

You can’t bring the natural thinking of a man and assume he will understand a womans needs in an intimate relationship.

Men and women have to learn a different way of thinking to keep their connection alive and far too many have no idea what this means.

Many people are seeing their divorce or a new relationship is the solution to a relationship that gone wrong unaware they are a part of the problem.

Understanding how to be a valuable and effective partner is the solution to many marital problems.

If you can bring that valuable person to your relationship and that isn’t good enough for your partner then leaving is probably the right decision because you can’t do any more than be the best of yourself. 

Becoming valuable to each other is a skill that needs to be learnt and no one tells us this is critical to keeping you and your partner in the marriage.

Successful healthy relationships are created they don’t just happen so learning how is such an important skill to master and pass on.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other - June 19, 2025
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE” - June 17, 2025
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem? - June 13, 2025

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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
  • Husbands May Only Become What She Believes Him to Be – Mini Post
  • “I feel nothing… and he’s no idea why!” – MiniPost
  • 7 Steps For a Successful Marriage Repair Process
  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

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  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
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  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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