From time to time we can all have doubts that knock our confidence and this is normal. Sometimes our confidence can become so knocked that rebuilding our strength in our ability to create a wonderful future can feel almost impossible. Impossible to the point we feel stuck, paralysed in a life that can just feel wrong.
I want to share a true story of how someone can create an unwinnable life that keeps them paralyzed. So stuck they came to me for help…
This may not reflect what is specifically happening to you. What is important is you know if you are feeling challenged by life there are answers for you.
This lady was totally unaware of what was happening for her, but what she did know was her behaviours were destroying her life.
This is what we discovered together
This lady was very successful in creating wealth, but she never valued herself, she felt agitated and tired all the time, she never valued her successes and had an affair which she regretted, but it almost ended her marriage. Her life felt awful…
In her session we discovered ironically trust and growth was really important to her. We also discovered she feared failure, failure of letting others down, and she feared feeling worthless. To her horror she also discovered that success equals a loss of love. It is at this point we can start to understand how her life was structured and why is was full of pain.
It’s not difficult to understand why she was so challenged…
So why did this happen to her: Through her life her mother withdrew love every time she was successful. So success equalled pain, this meant she had to constantly fail to avoid that pain, but this meant she felt worthless. This was exhausting for her, trying to feel good, but never achieving it. Even if she was successful she would never value it because it would only bring her – more PAIN! Clearly an illusion, but very real to her!
So driven by growth she always moved on fast to the next project. Ironically in anyones terms she was hugely successful, but she never allowed herslf to feel it. Regardless of her successes she felt worthless.
Confused by her pain she had an affair which automatically triggered all her fears at once.
As you can see she was really stuck going round in circles.
Through her session she now understood why her life was this way. Knowing why is half the battle, but she needed to learn some tools that would help her re-train her mind to stay focused on what equalled happiness for her. Now she’s no longer seduced by her irrational fears.
Now her confidence is back and she is in a growth program to rebuild her relationship. Not just with her husband, but also with herself to create the life she has always wanted.
She says it’s the first time in 30 years she has actually felt calm and free.
- If this has struck a chord with you please get intouch
- As always your thoughts are welcomed in comments below.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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