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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“DO NOT bury your head in the sand with this one…”

Many couples come to see me with a message that they have been signed up to my blog for years and now their marriage has hit a real crisis point and they are hoping I can fit them into my schedule FAST!

So what I’m seeing is people are very aware they are having difficulties years before, but they choose to put themselves through years of unnecessary stress waiting for there to be no other choice than seek help or get a divorce.

Sadly their belief initially is they thought/hoped their problems would magically get better on their own.

PLEASE NOTE: Relationship problems rarely fix themselves.

Waiting for problems to just go away is a very dangerous strategy as the best time to deal with a relationship problem is NOW! Not in one or two years time.

In fact, if I had my way – Couples with no problems what-so-ever would come and learn how to make their relationship bulletproof and protect it from problems like affairs, power struggles, and conflicts.

Waiting to see if problems are going to get better or worse could further confirm to one person the problems are not solvable which for so many couples is untrue. Believing problems are unsolvable can lead a person to shut down and emotionally detach if left for too long.

It’s also dangerous to wait because problems just don’t go away and they can sit in the relationship as a resentment that stack as the person looks for and finds more things to feel resentful about.

Resentments, when stacked over time, can become the proof that it’s best to hold back to protect yourself from this relationship. This exact process is what kills love.

Resentments can also become a significant part of the persons’ story of their life with their partner and can be used to gain social support when not wanting to look bad as they break up their family.

So it’s critical to make sure hidden resentments are not growing in you, or your relationship if they are and you want to keep your relationship you must take action.

So the problem couples have with really talking about their issues or resentments is they don’t know how to do this without rocking the boat or causing more trauma.

So they cross their fingers everything will just be ok and so they wait.

What couples really need to do is put their hands up early and communicate that there is a problem and they want to find a way to solve it.

My personal mission is to empower couples to be able to share their experiences openly, but in a way that doesn’t look for blame, or fault and builds more trust and a stronger connection.

So what should couples be communicating about that could collapse the marriage if they don’t deal with it fast?

This list below is the stuff you must NOT bury your head with and you must NOT wait to see what happens. 

  • I’m struggling to be myself with you
  • We don’t communicate anymore – Except practically
  • I’m falling out of love
  • I’m no longer attracted to you
  • Holding back in the marriage
  • Feeling insignificant
  • I feel everything else apart from me is important to you, kids, jobs, your mother, friends etc
  • Sex life is in decline
  • Significant life changes – e.g. births, deaths, retirement, children leaving home, loss of a job
  • I’m suppressing a part of me to keep the peace
  • I’m doing it your way because it’s less hassle for me
  • Burying problems such as discovery of affairs, or significant breaks of trust
  • Conflict that goes round in circles
  • I don’t feel you have my back
  • When one partner becomes the JUDGE of everything!
  • When the couple live in blame
  • Feeling attraction to someone else
  • I’ve given up who I am to be with you
  • My partner seems ok, but I’m not
  • My partner is always out
  • We are not prioritising our relationship anymore
  • I don’t feel desired anymore
  • I can’t see where this is going
  • There is no emotional connection between us
  • My partner has no empathy
  • Depression and the relationship
  • Stress and the relationship
  • I don’t know what you want?
  • One person is always negative or unhappy
  • We don’t agree on how to bring up the kids
  • One person always controls the money I feel like a child
  • Overly controlling partners
  • Aggressive behaviour
  • Passive aggressive behaviour 
  • Contempt
  • Boredom

This list, of course, could go on and on

What all these challenges have in common is they will start-up a natural disconnection mechanism.

Couples can take up to two years to get to full disconnect to the point the relationship has become meaningless and they have to get out.

It’s so important to know what you are both doing that is killing the relationship without you knowing.

My message is today is very simple if you are having problems deal with them before you hit a crisis.

I deal with some of the most challenging disconnections and break of trust and if every couple had come to me earlier the process would have been so much easier for them.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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