What you are about to read is about is a gentleman in turmoil. He thought he had lost the girl he loved and his one-year-old son.
She had left him and this connected him to his core fears, emotions that were powerful enough to sabotage him from getting the very thing he wanted.
As his emotional system battled to avoid connecting to the pain of losing her, his behaviours kept on proving to her she had made the right decision.
In his quest to get her back, he was repelling her – he didn’t know.
I had to stop him losing control as he could lose her for good and I could see there was a real chance they were a good fit together at the core.
For some couples is clear to see they shouldn’t be together, other couples disconnect but it doesn’t mean the relationship should end.
I needed to help him quickly connect to a far more powerful version of himself to discover the truth of their relationship but time wasn’t on his side.
He had to breakthrough his fears and have the courage to connect to a version of himself that would not only generate significantly more confidence within him, but create an energy that gave him the chance to be attractive to her again.
I could see from the initial consultation their attraction dynamic was in reverse so they would both be suffering and making the assumption they were incompatible.
She would have seen him as weaker and she would have felt disconnected from who she needed to be, to be happy with him.
In essence, I could see so many factors that had helped them disconnect it was likely this couple were disconnected not because they were wrong for each other but because they were missing the critical building blocks for a successful relationship.
They didn’t have enough knowledge to make their relationship work and as it was becoming worse, their fear systems had kicked in and their reactions to each other was making their situation worse.
This gentleman told me that reading these stories of success helped him and he wanted to share a few words to my readers who might be in a similar situation.
1) What was your situation when you first made contact with Stephen Hedger to seek help?
I came to Stephen after my girlfriend told me that our relationship was over.
We had been struggling for a while but this came out of the blue for me.
We had a 1-year-old son together and I desperately wanted our relationship to work.
She agreed to come and see Stephen with me for the initial consultation but after agreeing to work on our relationship with Stephen days later she ended the relationship.
I was devastated and wanted to give up. Kate one of Stephens team helped me to get back into the process because there could be a way to win her back.
I told my girlfriend I was going to work with Stephen on my own.
For the first 5 sessions she never came which gave me no doubt the relationship was over.
Working with Stephen helped me to feel great about myself and told her that it’s was fine if she didn’t come as I was on the right path to feeling myself again.
A month after she decided to go see Stephen on her own and then agreed to go into joint sessions together.
We continued to see Stephen and our relationship started to get back on the right path and we agreed to make another go at it.
2) How did you find the sessions with Stephen and how he worked?
I’ve never believed in speaking to someone about my private life so for me I went in having doubts we could be helped.
I have to say that Stephen made me see what had happened logically and not so emotionally.
He rebuilt me back to my old self and I can’t thank his professional team and himself enough because when I told him I wanted to give up they told me not to throw in the towel.
3) What is your current situation?
We are now happily married and couldn’t be happier.
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So many people think that couples work is only successful if they attend together. This gentleman came on his own to learn life skills that would support his future and he attracted her back as a result.
She noticed a shift in the way he approached her and his life. This new behaviour became attractive to her again, so she came to a session on her own wanting to find out what had happened to him and could she trust the change in him.
She also was given critical tools to understand what she had misunderstood in him and why it was now working again.
A significant part of the work I did with this gentleman helped him master his own emotions.
I helped him discover that he was the creator of his emotions, no one had the power to make him feel anything best they could do is influence him.
Most people are not in control of their emotional systems and they accept that as normal and many blame others for how they feel.
Once you know how – emotions can be controlled with practice.
This skill enables the person to choose the emotions they would like, which is especially important in difficult situations.