To become successful at anything in life the key is to master it. To be better at sport we have to practice and practice, to be great at our jobs we have to study and get experience and prove our worth. The more we master our interests the better we become at them.
We all understand this concept, it gets drummed into us from our schools and from our parents.
One of my mentors spoke constantly about studying all aspects of life that were most interesting to me. He taught me to study the things we didn’t study in school, yet to me are the keys to life.
So I decided to study careers, wealth and relationships. I knew if any one of those areas was not working, my life would feel off balance.
My biggest passion was relationships. So I made relationships a study, not to become professional at the time it was just so I could master them for myself. You see In my twenties I was really struggling with understanding how relationships worked. What seemed a simple concept of boy meet girl and they fall in love was clearly far more complicated than I realised.
At 20 years old the proof was standing before me, the person who I was attracted to didn’t look so attractive with her screwed up face screaming at me for something else I did wrong in her eyes that made no sense to me.
I never knew you could study relationships and the idea seemed odd, but clearly necessary.
So study I did, but not just how relationships worked but how our minds react to our relationships and our lives.
The more I studied I could see how ridiculous the concept that a relationship should just work. I discovered that successful relationships are created, built and designed.
I could see that relationships consistently start to fail when the couple stop putting each other first.
I could see that understanding your partner needs was critical yet most people have no understanding of how to do that.
My studies led me to a revelation. The health of my relationship was dependant on me. There was little point me expecting my partner to be a great partner if I wasn’t either, I realised that I had to be the best I could be if I was to discover if my relationship was right or wrong for me.
However being the best I can be in a relationship is only valuable if you know how to understand, love and look after the person you say you care about.
I discovered that people in relationships and me included were totally misunderstanding each other. They were translating each others actions and words putting meanings to it that were totally untrue.
I discovered that many couples were doing this and thus destroying perfectly good relationships.
When I started to teach couples on how to look after each other, how to love each other and keep each other safe, I noticed that what worked consistently was the moment the person understood they could be successful this gave them the confidence to learn about their partner and give them what they really needed.
Having a life long passionate relationship is a constant study, you have to show up, you have to want to learn, you have to hold yourself to a higher standard.
Your relationship is valuable so please take action today to keep it secure.
If you would like more information on how Stephen Hedger can help your marriage / relationship please make contact today.
