Thousands of couples across the UK, full of fear for their future have one BIG question
“how do I save my marriage?â€
No matter what’s happened in your relationship or your life your relationship can be saved if the right steps are taken.
Let me explain how this works.
Relationships do not just go wrong over night, it takes time and builds up in the minds of those who start to feel that something is wrong.
One of the problems people near break-up experience is that they have spent along time creating bad feelings and attaching those bad feelings to their partner and their relationship.
Many Couples Regret Their Divorce…
Whenever you focus on bad things or what’s wrong with your life consistently, what you end up with is a distorted view of what is really going on. This means your perception of reality in the context of your relationship is going to be very different from the actual reality.
This is why so many couples believe 100% that divorce is their only option and then end up regretting it.
Here is the good news
So when couples work with me to take a step back from their relationship what they discover is things are not as bad as they first thought.
They discover that they have both created feelings within themselves from a distorted perspective of their relationship. They have then judged their own thoughts and made their partner responsible for the thoughts they have created.
From this new perspective a couple can start to discover what was missing from their relationship. This new perception of their relationship changes their approach and puts them in a more resourceful state of self-discovery and openness rather than blame and resentment.
At this point where the foundations of their beliefs about their partner has been changed we can work to grow the knowledge within the couple to help them understand why they both felt so bad.
The reasons here could be infinite, it could be due to past experiences either from child hood or past relationships. There could be values set up to always equal failure for an individual and so depression is likely. It could be assumptions and misunderstandings have consistently caused conflict. It could be that one of you was just bored. This list is potentially endless, but in this list will be needs that one or both people in the relationship were missing that were critical to their happiness.
Missing needs
Once we have discovered the missing needs then growth starts to happen again as the couple gain a deeper understanding of how they got to where they are and why they behaved the way they did.
With a more sympathetic view of their relationship and the with their fears now on the back burner the couple are positioned to create a new commitment to each other from this new perspective of understanding.
- This is the start of rebuilding the trust the couple needs to survive long-term.
The couple then receive help with the assumption that their will always be challenges in their relationship, but with the right understanding and a unified approach to their problems they have every chance of creating a passionate and lasting relationship.
Remember whatever you believe about your relationship today, it is only one perspective and if that comes from a state of fear or anger then it is guaranteed that any decision taken in this place will be a poor one that is likely to be regretted later.
