Unfortunately divorce is a very real part of our society, the question many people ask when their marriage is going consistently wrong is, “how do you know when to get a divorce?”
This is a great question because if anyone is asking this question they are clearly not happy to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy. I couldn’t agree more, why should anyone accept ongoing misery year after year.
Everyone deserves to be happy and staying in a marriage just to please others is not the answer.
A marriage has to be a secure happy and loving place for both people and needs to provide a secure and effective model for their children to follow [yes the children are being affected by a troubled marriage].
So here is the challenge for the couple who is in trouble, most marriages will have problems and most people have very little understanding of what it takes to build a lasting loving passionate relationship, so the chances of their marriage going wrong are really high. To be clear many people can have lasting marriages, but very few maintain the three components needed for if to feel right.
Truly successful marriages need to maintain, lust, romantic love and a secure attachment to each other. Many really don’t have the knowledge of how to maintain this and so for many looking at divorce becomes just a matter of time.
If you are thinking that divorce might be the right solution for you of course you could be right, but it’s also a big decision full of emotion and financial complications, plus if children are involved that decision becomes so much harder.
Post Divorce Challenges
I see many people come to see me emotionally traumatised because they regret ending a marriage and they now want their partner back.
Other people don’t really know why their marriage failed so they get divorced and go for a second marriage. A larger percentage of second marriages do fail because naturally they have chosen someone who is totally different to their first marriage, but this is not right for them either. Others seem to choose someone who is the same hoping for a different result.
If you are unsure if divorce is the right answer for you, but staying in the marriage is not right either then you may need some help to understand the reality of your specific situation, because guessing can be risky with so much at stake.
Learn the truth to reduce stress
Marriages rarely collapse over night, it takes time for the couple to go from deciding a marriage was a great idea to regretting getting married and wondering what they were thinking all those years before.
But why, how did that marital collapse happen?
Understanding why a marriage is failing is a key step towards rebuilding a future, either together or apart.
When couples understand why their marriage has really failed then it gives them a chance to know if they want to take steps to rebuild it or they can agree with the new facts that divorce is the best direction for them both, ideally taking them towards an amicable divorce.
Some couples are not a good fit and that can become clear very quickly. The ones that are unsure what to do, or who love each other, but are not sure how to live together and be happy do have the chance to find out the best direction for them.
If you are in this position and not sure which way to turn, how would it feel if within 3 Months you could have a clear answer for your marriage.
Would this be an attractive option for you right now? If so why not get in touch with us today and learn more about your options.
- How do you know when to get a divorce? Find out today if this really is the best route for you. Click Here