• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Home
  • Private Coaching
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • Couples Coaching
    • Individual Coaching
    • FAQs
  • About
  • Success
  • Initial Consultation
  • Blog

How Rebuild Trust After An Affair?

One of my specialisms is in helping couples rebuild their relationship after discovering an affair. The secret to repairing a broken relationship after an affair is to help them understand why it happened and then help them build a brand new relationship. 

Couples who reconnect after an affair and learnt how to create a successful marriage, ultimately see the affair as a wake-up call that actually saved their relationship from years of suffering.

Without doubt, an affair is a shockingly horrible experience, however, an affair is just one of the many destructive symptoms a couple can experience if they don’t learn how to create a relationship that lasts.

There is nothing more emotionally volcanic than discovering your partner is having an affair. Affairs are powerfully destructive because an affair ignites our primary fears that we are not enough for our partner. Not being enough is a very powerful fear.

This fear then creates a powerful force within us that brings into play a survival shutdown mechanism that’s designed to instantly protect us.

The initial anger and disbelief are soon replaced with a powerful battle for the person who’s discovered their partners’ affair. This battle is between the part of them that now can’t trust their partner and the part that still loves them.

So whilst this person battles with what to do, the person who had the affair has their own battle. Some know exactly why they had an affair and some have no idea.

The person who had the affair can also be left with destructive emotions such as crippling guilt and not feeling safe to enter back into the relationship through fear of never being forgiven.

Some people have affairs because they want out, some because they could, some because something was missing and some really have no idea why.

Couples who fall victim to affairs need to repair the relationship in such a way that the affair becomes the wake-up-call that makes their relationship better than it ever was.

Rebuilding a couple’s relationship is formed by helping them build a focus that helps them learn the truth about their specific situation and history.

The ultimate goal is to help the couple discover if they have the ability to create a relationship that’s not only a win-win for both people today, but one that can last.

Lasting means passionate, exciting, connected, loving, the relationship they should have had all along.

Before we can get to this position the couple needs to understand the situation they are in in more detail so they are in a position to start to repair the relationship.

When the couple is able to see the true complexity of their situation and how to understand it properly, then they are armed to make a decision for their future which makes sense.

A lady told me she knew from the moment she married her husband he would have an affair. I asked her the impact of feeling this way. She told me she held back to protect herself. So she held back her love for eleven years! I asked him why he had an affair he said he loved her, but felt she didn’t love him so he gave up.

One lady had multiple affairs and didn’t know why, but desperately wanted to stop. Her husband was understandably at the end of the road with her. By working with her to help her understand why she was behaving this way she could not only explain to her husband why, but she could now change for good and totally reject her self destructive behaviours. This paved the way to help her build a new authentic identity where she could be happy within herself and now safe with her husband. Now she didn’t need or want other men.

Another couple learnt how without knowing they had eroded their relationship by focusing on their careers and kids and starved the relationship of what it really needed to survive. The relationship became vulnerable and no one knew until she met someone new who reignited her sexual energy and she felt alive again. This couple learnt how to rebuild their relationship passion through learning how to become lovers again.

Another couple suffered from years of resentment because an old affair she had years before went unresolved. For him, his new affair was justified because of what she had done. He still loved his wife but was now clearly torn between the excitement of this new lover and if his wife really did love him. I helped her show him her true feelings and helped him understand where this all started and how to protect it moving forward.

These couples and many more needed tailored solutions help to breakthrough the destructive forces an affair brings and rebuild their relationships so they had the best chance of lasting.

Affairs must be resolved so the relationship is free to grow. Brush it under the carpet and it will be back or simply never go away.

So with simple steps, an affair does not have to be the end, learn like other couples how to make it the wake-up call that enables the couple to learn how to build a new successful relationship that’s protected and lasts.

If your relationship has suffered an affair and you would like specialist step-by-step help please make contact with us straight away.

Category iconInfidelity-Affairs,  Uncategorized

"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

Get Started Now!

Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

 

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Free Blog Subscription

Join over 30,000 subscribers who have looked for insights into intimate relationships why they work and why they don't. Weekly posts join now.....

Popular Posts

  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2022 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top