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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How to save a relationship in crisis?

In today’s post I’m going to look a relationships in crisis and what you have to stop focusing on to fix it and what will give you the best chance of discovering the truth in your relationship.

A relationship crisis can happen for many reasons and it’s a hideous place for both people to be in. Full of uncertainty, fears such as rejection, betrayal, loss of love, feeling of not being enough. The couple can feel it’s hopeless as they are powerless to see how they can overcome their problems. Especially if their problems have been present for a while.

A relationship usually hits extreme crisis when trust is massively compromised, affairs is an obvious one, but drinking, drugs, gambling etc can all affect the relationship very quickly.

Other ways a marriage can hit crisis is when over time the couple grow apart. One person may feel that the relationship is dead and so wants to leave it. This communication can put them into crisis.

It’s important to understand that relationships don’t fail overnight, it actually takes time.

  • Some couples struggle to communicate.
  • Some couples have a loss of intimacy.
  • Some couples don’t share the same interests.
  • Some are constantly arguing.
  • Some feel they have lost any sense of their future or shared goals.
  • Some have lost themselves in the relationship and so their identity is compromised.
  • Some have on going problems like OCD or depression

Many problems can present themselves and it can feel overwhelming. So where do we focus our energy at this critical time?

You energy needs to be focused in the place that will make the most difference.

You see when building a successful relationship with your partner there are only a few things you have to do that will make 80% of the difference.

Couples spend too much time on what doesn’t matter and not enough time on what does.

This is important

It’s important to know that any problems you will be having at crisis or leading up to crisis is NOT the real problem (of course I don’t know your specific case, but 99% of the couples that come to me with problems are focused on the symptom of the problem and that’s why they never fix it).

Couples can spend months and sometimes years trying to fix their problems, not understanding that these are SYMPTOMS of the real problem.

Fix the SYMPTOM and another problem will present it’s self.

Fix the REAL PROBLEM and the couple are presented with the truth in their relationship.

You see, when you fix the REAL PROBLEM the couple will start to understand what was happening. This puts them back in control which gives them both confidence, this in turn reduces their fears and their focus shifts from self-protection to caring, kindness and love in the way the couple really needs.

The relationship can then feel very different.

Relationships only feel hopeless when the couple have run out of ways to fix it and what they both know is usually not enough.

They need tools and a new understanding and clear guidance so when they take action their action is likely to be successful for both people.

One couple came to me to fix their marriage and had seen 4 different types of therapy, each one had focused on fixing the SYMPTOM it didn’t work and desperate they came to me.

All I did was refocused them to fix their real problem.

I gave them the understanding and the tools and within 8 weeks their relationship was back on track. She recently came into my office for help with an unrelated challenge and was beaming thanking me for saving their marriage.

  • If this has struck a chord with you please contact my office for an initial consultation to explore your specific challenge and I will build you a plan to overcome it.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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