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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I don’t want to be gutless!”

At the heart of any quest for growth is courage, whether it’s rebuilding a marriage or starting a business.

The reason courage is required is because the process of growth is usually uncomfortable because there is no certainty in the outcome.

So for many growth is a risk so they chose not to grow as it’s safer.

An obvious example is someone learning how to speak in public.

What starts off as a painful exercise for many can turn into a real pleasure at bringing value-based energy to so many at once.

To really gain the life you want it’s about becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.

This concept is so true in the field of rebuilding relationships.

It’s easy to blame someone else

People are discovering what they are both doing isn’t working and the easy way out is to blame their partner.

It’s easy to blame someone else as there is no risk, plus someone else has to put in all the effort to fix the problems.

The blame my partner and wait for them to change strategy never works so they will either suffer forever, get divorced, or in the end seek help.

Courage is required when the person realises that they are part of the problem and they didn’t realise.

This means that rather than sitting back and waiting for others to change they have to reinvest and this means accepting responsibility and embracing vulnerability.

It takes real courage

Vulnerability is hard for so many because it takes real courage to really invest in their marriage when they cannot control the outcomes.

Too many people are under the misconception that holding back will protect them.

Unfortunately holding back is the first step to serious problems.

You cannot turn up to work when you feel like it, you can’t NOT feed the kids.

So why do so many couples treat their relationship differently.

With relationships you are either in or out, or you are learning.

When couples seek marital help some are worried it won’t work and some are worried it will.

The ones that won’t take action simply lack the courage needed to discover the truth of what they are capable of.

With so much fear and so much at stake it does take guts to leap into the unknown.

He was at a crossroads

I remember speaking to one couple where he had badly broken her trust and he was questioning why it happened and if it was a sign she wasn’t right for him.

This moment and those thoughts could have stopped him. What if his emotional affair was his true love? He was so confused.

This was a worrying moment for this couple because they had one small child and another on the way.

I told him that the chances are the energy that attracted him to his wife was the right energy and what has happened since is due to confusion and misunderstandings on both sides.

I told them they had both stopped feeding the marriage, all it needed was feeding again.

When problems strike in marriages people gravitate towards meeting their needs outside of the marriage.

So I instructed him to block all ways he was meeting his needs outside the marriage and to look for those needs with his wife only.

He must 100% reinvest in her and in his marriage to discover what they were both capable of.

He also had to learn who he had to become to connect to himself and be of value to her.

He could have become one of those people who take the easy route out, but he decided he wasn’t going to be GUTLESS he embraced his courage and accepted the challenge.

He would reject his fears and concerns and go all in with 100% commitment for himself and his wife.

He didn’t take the easy way out he fought for the truth of their connection and thankfully it paid off.

They have a lovely family now expanded to 3 kids all doing well as it should be.

All they did was learn new skills and took a leap of faith and a mountain of courage to implement them.

In his words “I don’t want to be a gutless here, I want to dig deep and discover our truth whatever that is”.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Rebuilding trust

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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