Detachment is the process of self protection. The person may feel that over months or years they have not been happy in their relationship. They may feel that their partner does not care about them, is not interested in them, or simply doesn’t love them.
The persons feelings towards their partner will have changed and the relationship can feel wrong to continue. Reconnection for this person can feel impossible and the desire to fix the relationship problems are usually very low.
The person in this situation will have a vision that the past will be a reflection of the future, so it’s painful for them to even consider, all this is normal.
They may even have created a new future in their minds before they share their new plan to leave.
If they have made an effort to try to fix their relationship in the past and nothing has changed and they feel they have tried and tried they will not believe a change is possible.
What’s worse for this person is they will be feeling even more pain because this new focus creates a gap between how life should be and how it really is. This means when they are with their partner they lose their true essence or identity. This just add more pain for this person.
In their mind their focus is on their pain and they are attaching all that pain to their partner.
Anyone doing this to themselves is likely to be looking to leave their relationship.
The question now is can this be changed? The answer is yes.
Couples in this place can reconnect and can fall back in love, but they need help to do this.
Their detachment was self created based on the persons interpretation of events that lead to a life changing decision.
The question is this: Was their interpretation correct?
In most cases their interpretation is not correct. This is because we are not taught the significant differences between men and women and how to create a relationship that works, therefore we are lacking critical skills that will support our relationships success.
Also their past can influence their feelings and so their partners behaviors could be a trigger for past emotional events, rather than being the real problem.