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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Is your dynamic set up for love or disaster?

Is your dynamic designed for a life of love, or is your dynamic leading you to problems you could never have foreseen? Very smart and intelligent individuals such as GP’s, Business leaders, QC’s to name a few are falling foul of this hidden information in their relationship so you can forgive yourself for not knowing. 

So a professional ability to be successful is not an indicator of creating a successful life of love. Like everything in this world to become successful at anything it has to be learnt and relationships are no different.

The thinking that suggests relationships should just happen is a real myth and so as you scan the information below you’ll start to understand why and how important it is to learn how to take control not only of the direction you are both going, but how you both show up on the journey through life together.

So when I talk about dynamic what do I actually mean. 

Your dynamic is defined by how you both show up in your relationship and the affect that has on your individual experiences of being together.

I do want to stress one very important point before we talk about the dynamic. Do you live in reaction to the world you live in, or do you create the world you live in? To be clear, if a person lives in reaction they are less likely to have the ability to control their future which means they are not as safe as they would like and this is especially true in relationships.

To take control of your feelings and your future this has to be understood.

When a person has an experience in life any meanings created, or feelings that are experienced are actually created by that person. No one has the power to make us feel anything. I will repeat as this is so important if you want to create the future you want. NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO MAKE US FEEL ANYTHING! The thoughts and feelings we create within us are simply triggered by the world around us.

It’s the trigger(s) that creates a reaction within us and we then create our own unique interpretation that then leads us to our feelings and the meanings we put to them.

This distinction is critical to understand because if we know we are 100% the creators of our feelings and the meanings we put to any situation(s) then we are potentially 100% in control. I say potentially because it’s not until you take action do we claim the power to control our emotional states.

The next step is to learn how to take control of our individual experiences.

This is so important to understand when creating a dynamic that works in a relationship, because if part of the dynamic is a person feels their partner is making them feel something we are starting with an illusion. Remember our partner can help trigger our habitual responses, but we must take personal responsibility for what we feel if we are to lead ourselves into a safe and loving life.

Many reading this may disagree because feelings seem to automatically come up. The challenge the person faces is they have not yet learnt how to take control of their own emotional states so they assume they can’t be controlled.

Once a person has the ability to take responsibility for their own experience then they are in a position to not only create the feelings they want, but also learn about their partners experience and support them.

So the starting point for any person wanting to create a dynamic that works is learning how to create the feelings they want so when the relationship needs them they can be the best they can be, but from a position of understanding each other.

Couples that are confused by each others actions do not have enough understanding and sometimes the desire to put themselves in their partners shoes.

The key to a successful dynamic and relationship is in our ability to be valuable to that relationship. So giving to your relationships is key, but knowing what to give is where most couples fall over.

If you or your partner are struggling to find happiness together then both people are likely to be…

  1. Living in reaction to each other
  2. + Not having their critical needs met.

Many seemingly impossible relationship problems can be solved and having a poor or destructive dynamic today is not a permanent state if what really matters is changed.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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