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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I’ve lost who I am in my marriage”

I asked this lady when was the last time she felt she was her true self in her marriage.

Over the phone I could hear her tears through the silence as she collected herself to answer me.

Losing connection with yourself can create terrible pain and suffering for anyone and people are practising this for years, both men and women suffer with this.

So todays post has two parts. Part one is about the problem many suffer with and part two is the solution they must seek.

So part of any couples process of rebuilding their connection they must have individual self-connection as part of their solution.

  • So what had she lost? 
  • What has she forgotten about who she used to be?
  • Who was that person back then and what were her aspirations and dreams?
  • Why did she change?
  • What was the purpose of the change?
  • Some people change to protect the marriage.
  • Some change to protect themselves.
  • Some change to please .

My message to anyone in a marriage is you must never change who you are.

If you do change you, you will suffer and so whatever the reason for the change is the cost is simply too great.

It’s why reconnecting people to their true-selves can be a big part of what I have to do to help people out of their marital crisis. 

So the biggest skill within all successful relationships is in both peoples ability to stay connected to who they are and what they value whilst they navigate the ups and downs of life.

The next question is who are you? Do you know?

Some people know what they have lost and so can describe who they were and what they want to get back to so they have a clear goal.

Other people really don’t know who they are and have always felt lost or have just realised they are lost.

Why people become lost is varied, for some powerful life events can trigger shifts, in others being brought up by parents who are also lost can affect them, everyones journey is different.

Reclaiming self-connection

We are looking for the place where the person first of all is FREE to be all that’s important to them in any situation.

At core they are at peace with who they are, yet confident in a way that disables their need for validation from others.

They are happy with who they are unapologetically.

They have taken their power back and all the energies that are important to them are in focus and present in that persons NOW.

Those important values and emotions will also become an integrated part of their unique life quests and goals.

This allows them to be authentic, happy and always moving towards fulfilment.

We are looking for an emotional system that dissolves their fears with every step forward.

It’s critical to help someone move towards what they want and stop them moving away from what they don’t.

Moving away from what we don’t want is the process that traps us, limits our life and keeps our fears alive.

It traps us because if you move away from what you don’t want, what you don’t want is a constant focus consciously or subconsciously.

For those that achieve this powerful and freeing shift life becomes a very different place to be.

It’s a place of choice, of creativity, opportunity and personal growth.

Reclaiming who you are and knowing with clarity what that is, becomes a powerful foundation for knowing your life direction.

Imagine knowing in advance if any goal or quest will bring you the happiness you desire before you embark on it.

Plus it helps you to navigate problems with confidence as you remain connected to who you are, never letting go of that again.

Never changing yourself to fit in, never changing yourself to please others.

You have chosen to remain authentic and connected to yourself because you know being any less of who you are is not just a disservice to yourself, it’s also a disservice to those that are important to you.

I cannot stress enough how important and powerful this realignment is for a person to achieve.

It’s within us all, all we need is to be shown the way to achieve this.

Reclaiming yourself creates a powerful foundation for relationship building and designing a life you would be proud of.

The biggest part of this process is in the ability to at last be FREE.

If you would like to understand more about reclaiming yourself and your life make contact today.

  • About
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other - June 19, 2025
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE” - June 17, 2025
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem? - June 13, 2025

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Marriage Coaching






Marriage Breakthrough Client

"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

ANDY - CEO & FOUNDER

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
  • Husbands May Only Become What She Believes Him to Be – Mini Post
  • “I feel nothing… and he’s no idea why!” – MiniPost
  • 7 Steps For a Successful Marriage Repair Process
  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (42)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
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  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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