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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Learn how to listen to those you love?

Statistically a great many of people come for help because their lines of effective communication have broken down. They become almost stuck in the same old patterns of communication going round in circles…

It’s critical to understand your partners’ message when they speak, because if you don’t understand them, what can happen is you could misunderstand their message to you.

This can change your behaviours and that could change your future.

So the first step is to never assume you know what they mean, if they complain to you because the way you have taken their message is wrong, the chances are they are right, after all they knew their intent and motivation to communicate to you.

You see what many people do is listen to the words of others and put their own meaning to it and then make them responsible for this new translation.

Of course this will cause fights so it’s critical you respect what your partner feels because if you don’t they will assume you don’t care and move away from you.

So this is the obvious form of communication problem.

What about those that gloss over how they are feeling when they communicate. For example I have noticed some females communicate what they are fearful of, but they do it with a smile on their face. Some will pre-frame their complaint with reassurance such as “…you know I love you…” then they communicate the problem.

This is designed to soften the complaint to their partner, trouble is the reciever never gets the truth, it’s like they are being protected from the real pain the person feels. On some occasions the person has blocked their own pain and so they don’t connect to themselves and so they focus on making sure their partner is looked after, so they can feel safe.

They can do this as part of their coping mechanism to get love.

The problem is this method blocks the energy in the relationship and intimacy can become a problem.

Many people who start off as friends can end up in this place. They don’t argue so there is no real passion and so problems start to display themselves in many different ways.

My sessions are always focused on the couple being honest to each other, but most of all honest to them themselves.

Unless a person is honest with themselves they will build relationships on weak foundations, the real challenge comes when the person, feels they are being honest and cannot see they are not.

The challenge is the person has then has no desire to fix something that is not a problem to them even though their relationship is clearly screaming we are in trouble.

So they come to sessions wanting me to fix their partner.

You see listening and understand your partner is really important, but so is listening and understanding your own truth is just as important.

Is far easier to blame others when problems strike, but it’s far harder to look in the mirror and explore what is your part in the relationships problems when things are going wrong.

When the person does have the courage to look at themselves, what they discover is a world of more control and success in their own destiny.

So the title of todays’ post is “Learn how to listen to those you love?”

Loving YOU and really listening to you is the start!

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"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

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November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

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Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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