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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Learn How to Repair your Marriage”

If you want to learn how to repair your marriage this post is for you. Relationships are extremely valuable and they need looking after if you want to keep them alive, so today you will learn one key skill that’s the foundation to rebuilding your relationship.

The challenge with this is most couples don’t know how to look after the relationship and sadly many are not even aware they have to, they think it should just happen.

Couples end up thinking their relationship is the problem when in reality they are simply bad relationship managers.

To be clear long-term successful relationships don’t just happen they are created, so anyone thinking their initial spark is enough for life is in for a shock.

So many couples create emotional patterns that are designed to protect them, but the reality is these patterns will have starved the relationship of what it needs to survive.

The relationship then starts to break down as the trust dies and no one really knows what to do to stop it.

One or both people will then become fearful which can accelerate the process of disconnect.

How I see relationships in its simplest form is there are two banks you need to keep your eye on.

One is the “Bank of Pleasure”, the other is the “Bank of Resentment”.

Most couples start their relationship with the “Bank of Pleasure” high and the “Bank of Resentment” low so naturally it feels good.

As the relationship progresses and the couple starts to be challenged by their differences, their day-to-day life stresses and their focus turns to what’s wrong.

Resentment starts to grow in the marriage and their focus moves slowly away from what’s great about the relationship and moves toward what’s wrong – it’s this shift of focus that’s catastrophic.

If the person spends long enough in the “what’s wrong land” the person will start a natural defence process that will end up with them feeling emotionally numb, or constantly anxious or on red alert for problems.

The challenge is one or both people in the relationship are going to need to acquire some new skills if they want to repair their marriage.

Skill one: Get on the same page with the real issue(s)!

They need new skills because to successfully repair the relationship they are going to have to be on the same page understanding what the real challenge is.

This is a big problem!

Almost every couple that comes to see me thinks their problem(s) is one thing, only to discover it’s something totally different.

Imagine your both going around in circles thinking your problem is loss of connection only to learn neither person understood the building blocks of a successful connection.

What’s worse is the couple usually doesn’t agree on what their problem is, and then wonders why they have been going around in circles for years.

In many cases, couples are seeing their differences as problems when they would be far more successful if they embraced their differences as strengths.

So they are not a team focused on fixing the same problem, they are in a battle fighting for the other side to see the problem from their perspective.

The fastest way for a couple to kill their sexual energy is to make them the same, fear can drive couples to end up like siblings.

Note: The most successful process for repelling a partner is to control them, and to be clear passive control is bad too.

Getting on the same page with understanding the real problem is the start to repairing the relationship.

No matter how bad things get, the moment there is an alignment at an emotional level then two people are together in a shared reality where their differences are celebrated.

This is a foundation that enables the couple to grow, but only if they have the right tools.

I talk to couples about learning how to create and grow a brand new relationship based on genuine foundations.

Not a rehash of the old unstable ones!

When couples really learn how to understand each other and what’s really important to each other then the relationship can really grow.

Please remember this skill isn’t natural no matter how intuitive a person feels they are.

The process is simple, stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what does.

This is why my clients come for help they want fast simple and effective solutions to seemingly complex problems they can’t fix on their own.

They want advice that drives their ability to connect as a team whilst looking for win-win solutions to the problems that life throws at us all.

Want to learn how to repair your marriage?

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages? - July 8, 2025
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?” - July 5, 2025
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It. - July 2, 2025

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  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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