• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Home
  • Private Coaching
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • Couples Coaching
    • Individual Coaching
    • FAQs
  • About
  • Success
  • Initial Consultation
  • Blog

Long Distance Relationship Advice

My partner and I have been having a lot of problems. We were together for 4 months and everything was absolutely perfect, everything was going right and we fit well with each other.

Then after the 4 months we were thrown into an unexpected long distance relationship which equals to a few thousand miles between us (17 hours plane journey). Our relationship changed a lot, its now been a year and one month since we started our relationship so 9 months has been long distance and this has been difficult to say the least.

I would say that I have become quite irrational, I am incredibly jealous now but I never was before the long distance. I trust him much less and I can stress a ridiculous amount which leads to getting angry with him for the smallest thing.

I kind of understand my jealousy because I am jealous of any girl that can be near him but I can’t be, that I have to be thousands of miles away and the horrible feeling that something could happen.

I have become a completely different person which he had always been patient about but I could never seem to change. I don’t know if I can ever change my jealousy especially in a long distance relationship, also the problem is that we would have to be in this distance for another few years.

Its been 9 months and the truth is I’ve been finding it absolute hell, I’ve been stressed, I’ve been crying almost everyday, and its horrible. My Partner on the other hand really likes a long distance relationship, hes been understanding because he loves me so much but I can’t seem to do that for him.

I don’t know at all what to do.

Lisa

————————————————–

Dear Lisa

Thank you for your email to me, I really feel for you, this is a horrible place to be.

You enter into a perfect relationship and just as it’s getting going, it’s now been taken away.

Now you are left will all these conflicts inside that are now making you really unhappy. On one hand you know these thoughts are irrational, but every day they’re coming into your mind uninvited.

There are two key areas here that are effecting you.

  • 1. The man you love is thousands of miles away from you, and this is not how your relationship or life should be.
  • 2. Your constant focus on potential problems has taken you to a place of fear, which has generated a version of you that is constantly worried and now becoming depressed.

When your life conditions don’t match how you think things should be, you can become miserable, depressed and in this place of fear you have unconsciously gone on a search to discover what problems this long distance relationship could create for you, for him, and the relationship.

  • What’s happened is you have come up with loads of ways this relationship could hurt you or end.

Your boyfriend who seems to be trying to fix this relationship from thousands of miles away knows how unhappy you are, and is telling you that everything is OK and that a long distance relationship with him is not to be feared.

In fact you believe either through his words or your feelings that he likes the relationship this way. If you also believe that, then there is no end to living hell for you…

…I don’t believe any man that loves his woman wants to be thousands of miles away from her ( if you also share that thought, that could be making your feel worse, however…), I expect he is fearful of you getting so upset that you end the relationship, to escape your own fears, and so he could be playing his own feelings down to protect you.

Something needs to change, because you are making yourself unwell and these behaviours in you could create the thing you fear most and that’s a break up, because you both can‘t see away forward.

At the moment this situation for you equals the possibility of the end of your relationship every day.

The other part that I know is hurting you is that you want to give him love and yet from this place of fear you can’t, and that’s deeply hurting you too.

The bottom line is you feel out of control, not able to do, or be, what you want in a life situation you never saw as perfect for you or ever wanted or asked for.

For you to be happy again a change is needed, and so your focus and the meanings you are giving that focus has to be different for you to be OK.

Lisa I am going to contact you direct, I can tell you what needs to change, but I will have to work with you to make that change happen.

If Lisa is happy to work with me, we will be back to share the results.

Category iconUncategorized

"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

Get Started Now!

Recent Posts

  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

 

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Free Blog Subscription

Join over 30,000 subscribers who have looked for insights into intimate relationships why they work and why they don't. Weekly posts join now.....

Popular Posts

  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2022 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top