I speak to many men in troubled relationships and many are living with fears they will never share with her.
They are not living in fear of their wives, they are living in fear of their wives’ emotions.
They are afraid of her emotions because they simply have no idea what to do when she becomes emotional.
Her emotions make no sense to him so he ends up lost and frustrated.
Some mirror her emotions and some shut down and some simply walk away.
Men do this not because he is mean or uncaring.
He does this because he knows he is failing and for him this is unbearable.
You see he knows his job is to fix the problems and because he can’t make sense of her emotions he can’t fix them.
This is a tremendous source of pain for him.
Of course, the more he reacts this way to her the more emotional she gets.
This spiral is devastating for him because he can see no way to protect his family.
So he is left, putting up with the upset and saying nothing to keep the peace. He may throw himself into work at least, he is helping in some way or he may get off the wheel using an addiction.
Some look for relief in the arms of others to stop their own suffering.
The problem is men are simply not designed to understand a woman’s emotional system and not knowing this disables what he is designed for.
He cannot protect what he doesn’t understand so emotionally he is left dying inside.
The solution to all this is understanding.
She needs to understand how to help him and he needs to learn how to understand her so he can help her and protect his family.
So they must be a team get on the same page and protect their marriage from their problems.
