I hear this story every day. The reason I hear it is because so many people are stuck in a number of patterns that are destructive on both sides and it makes feeling love a real challenge.
In today’s post the first part explores the basics, the second part goes deeper into explaining why so many people are disconnected from the love they need for the relationship to make sense.
Part One:
Imagine the gentleman in this story, he loves his wife and he takes actions he thinks equals love.
But she doesn’t feel loved, how frustrated would he become?
What about her, how frustrated is she?
She can see her husband is doing things but nothing is connecting her to feeling loved by him.
In many cases the love that people give is either what they think would work, or they are giving what they themselves would like.
Everyone experiences love differently and so we all have very different needs.
- One gentleman assumed the fact he married her was all the love she should need.
- Another gentleman thought that him going to work and bring home the money was the love she needed after all she loves money.
In essence people in relationships are not getting to the bottom of what equals love for their partner.
Part Two: The big problem is this
Having helped 1000’s of couples learn the art of reconnection out of their crisis something far more powerful is required than simple actions.
Relationships are built on a very specific energy that helps two people experience natural attraction many couples lose this energy but don’t know why, what it is or how to get it back.
Dating couples who experience natural chemistry love how they feel about themselves when they are with each other, their energy is alive, passionate, wanting.
To maintain this energy a foundation of emotional connection and emotional security is either felt or assumed, but never the focus.
This means the future together is safe and exciting to step into.
When relationships go wrong and they do a lot the attraction energy dies.
The emotional security and emotional connection die and become the couple’s focus.
Trying to keep love alive whilst needing to protect ourselves from each other at times is nearly impossible.
Now our ability to give or receive love is challenged.
It’s challenged because the person who values love can no longer BE THE LOVE that so important to them in their own relationship.
For love to truly be alive LOVE is something we must become
Not feeling able or free to love their partner due to these kinds of emotional disconnects is a person’s biggest source of pain and suffering.
People that cannot be themselves suffer and those that value love and cannot be what they value in a relationship suffer the most and this is why they don’t feel it.