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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Not equipped” – Part 2

Yesterday I set the scene that couples are not naturally designed to understand how to solve their marital problems.

Today I want to expand a little more on why.

I mentioned yesterday that nature and our educational system is not set up to help us.

You see everyones mind is creating from birth an internal map of how the world around them works.

So what we are all experiencing is our own individual interpretation of the world we are in.

We don’t ever experience the world outside of ourselves, we experience the world around us within our own minds as a construct of reality that we can make sense of.

That means when we look at a problem we can only use what is within us to translate it.

So when two people with totally different maps of experience try to solve a problem what each person is unaware of is the problem for each person is very different for important reasons.

Couple are not seeing this because they are so consumed with their own translation of events and their own emotions.

To compound the problem and their disconnect the way each person will need the problem solved will be different again causing a bigger divide and so more pressure and stress to the other.

Plus the agenda behind how the problem must be solved will again be driven by very different and unique forces as each person is responding to their unique natures and drivers.

So unless both people have full access to all this influencing data, how can each person bring to the table an action that will fit with what their partner is really looking for.

This means each person is going to be experiencing responses from their partner that either don’t make sense or they can assume means their partner doesn’t care.

This is the start of the problem because both people are totally unaware of the critical differences they must know and what those differences are for.

What this creates is a person who will over time build the wrong map about their partner and attach it to them.

They can think their way out of their own marriage and not be aware their thinking is flawed.

When you put this thinking into a couple’s problem it’s so easy to see that when one person does try to fix their problems they are naturally going to miss the point and further upset their partner.

This frustrates the fixer and can lead the fixer to give up.

In life you cannot fix anything unless you understand the problem and that is the problem.

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

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I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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