People looking for a divorce will have been through a process, and I’ll talk about one part of that process today.
So before we get into this, please know that some people are not the right fit together, and leaving might be the right decision.
My advice is to find out the truth for your situation so what’s below may be worth considering.
The majority of people fit into this next category.
There is a process the mind goes through where their focus is shifting.
It’s probably been shifting for a while, and it dramatically affects how the person feels.
This focus is where the person is biased, only seeing what’s wrong in their marriage, turning everything about their partner into a negative.
Their partner could innocently say “Good morning” and the response could be an aggressive “…what do you mean by that!?”
The mind can delete what it no longer needs, this means any good in the relationship can be stripped away for those self-protecting.
In essence, the person feeds themselves negativity about their partner and uses that practice of only seeing the negative to exit emotionally.
This process could have been trigger by past trauma, a break of trust, or a natural erosion of their connection.
The mind is powerful, and when it looks for problems, it will find them good or bad, it even has the power to rewrite history from this new perspective.
The person in this negative process will feel the need to exit the relationship unaware they are in a bias of only seeing half the story.
A famous coach once said the mind is like a fertile field. It will grow whatever you plant.
So being aware of this bias will take you into the next stage of personal development by helping you become the observer.
Observers rebalance the story to be more connected to the truth; people who live in reaction to their bias-construct will live the story of the bias, which isn’t wholly true or fair.
It’s this process that leads so many couples to divorce regret.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
- Marriage in Crisis? Are You Wasting Your Time Trying to Save Your Marriage? - November 6, 2026
- Case Study: By the Time She Contacted Me, She Was Already Planning Their Separation and Divorce - November 3, 2026
- How to Talk to Each Other—Without It Turning Into Another Argument - October 29, 2026